AltFacts: Things Are Heating Up

Why Iran Won’t Run

As the Twitter war of words against Iran continues to smolder in Washington, things in Tehran are a lot cooler. Unlike the propaganda-driven tit-for-tat we’ve come to expect from North Korea, The Islamic Republic has calmly, but sternly, warned the United States to dial back the rhetoric, arguably from a position of power. Iran is not surrounded by countries with a vested interest in placating the United States. Nor is it an unstable young dictatorship with far more bark than bite. And when it comes to the throwaway social media blustering of our current president, Iran considers the policy at more than face value.

Iran is a country with clout. It is also aware that Russia is the closest superpower to its backyard, and with the ongoing reshuffling of global supremacy, Tehran feels confident that the balance is shifting east. And then there is Israel. With no love lost between the nations, the historic tension has gradually been heating up over the past year, with the friction greatly compounded by Trump’s recent sanctions against the Islamic Republic. In response, Iran has threatened to close the Strait of Hormuz (a critical artery for the oil trade) and has begun military exercises in the region to underline its general irritation. And let’s not forget that Iran and Russia’s military chiefs of staff met in Tehran last November to further embed a burgeoning martial partnership. The suggestion that Russia is providing the Taliban in Afghanistan with weaponry makes the matter more complex and unstable.

What of China? Beijing has remained fairly quiet, but did thrust a stick into the sand in May when it rejected Washington’s request to cease purchasing Iranian crude oil. It is certainly a marked contrast from consistent overtures promoting peaceful resolutions between the United States and North Korea.

Apologist essay on Iran this is not, but it is time to be realistic when it comes to our position in the international sphere and how bullish rhetoric can get very dangerous when thrust upon the wrong nation. After all, we have a long and tumultuous history with the Middle East, and Iran has been noticeably quiet in its actions (at least publicly). Whether the situation can remain cooled and peaceful much longer is very much up in the air. But one thing is for certain: With the mid-term elections looming, voters should think long and hard about international diplomacy before heading to the ballot box.

Why Hothouse Earth Is a Loada Hot Air

Earlier in the month, the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS) published a paper indicating that the planet is at risk of entering ‘Hothouse Earth’ conditions. Compiled by scientists from across the world, the report says that under Hothouse Earth conditions, temperatures, affected by carbon emissions, could rise to a global average of 4 – 5°C higher than they were in the pre-industrial era. But this is America, and (as of June 1, 2017, at least) we don’t believe in such hokum, especially when it comes from freedom-hating foreigners. The Paris Agreement was a load of baloney and the latest witterings to come from the real-life cast of “The Big Bang Theory” are hypochondrial at best and downright unpatriotic at worst. Science is harmful to this country’s oil industry, and a clean industry it is, at that. The White House issued the following statement in response to the paper:

“The United States disputes the findings of PNAS and wishes to remind everyone that China is the real bad guy here. They use coal like bathroom decorators use gold paint and haven’t even the decency to stop buying Iranian oil. Furthermore, no incontestable proof exists to support the theories of climate change, global warming and hothouse tomatoes. The United States also utilizes Climate Reflection and Protection (CRAP) technology to stop anything negative entering our airspace.”

Shove that in your test tubes, science!

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