AltFacts: Repress Yourself

Is RI Senator Jack Reed working with Kim Jong-un of North Korea? “The only thing Senator Reed and His Sublime Supremacy of Divine Divinity have in common is that they both think President Trump is crazy. This does not imply an alliance,” is what an attractive spokesperson for Jong-un might have said, if he let her talk to the press.

With what is essentially the opposite of a mic drop, Senator Reed was caught on mic discussing how crazy he thought Trump was. Confronted later by the press, Reed did not back down from his comments. He did, however, covertly organize a surprise for everyone’s favorite orange orangutan by leaving a giant inflatable chicken in his yard – the modern, kinder, gentler and more vegan version of egging a house. We don’t know if Senator Reed was behind this fowl act, but we hope so.

When the Orange Orangutan entered the Oval Office, we wrote an editorial about one tragic aspect of that event – the legitimization of unrestrained anger that came with it. OOOO’s lack of decorum and propensity to just say whatever comes into his head is refreshing to some, especially those who don’t like to consider a thought before expressing it. People without filters sought a champion and found one. As a result, greater emotional transparency has become okay. And while AltFacts doesn’t condone repressed feelings, there are some that society should be responsible for dampening. It’s like encouraging  a 2-year-old to tantrum and break things. Feeling angry? Tweet it. Hate someone, some group some race, some culture? You can express it. Drive a truck through something. Own your hate crime. Fearless leader doesn’t hold back. People running the country and the world can act without restraint, so you can, too. The horrific repercussions of this attitude include a dramatic rise in hate crimes, including the despicable events that took place in Charlottesville the day this is being written. All while ignoring the underlying economic iniquities that actually cause frustration, fear and anger.


Whether the unspeakably bad parking job in Charlottesville had anything directly to do with Trump or not, you can hold the OOOO accountable for creating an atmosphere of confrontation and an acceptance of lack of restraint that our culture needs to clearly repudiate, rather than cavorting in the emotional muck of the political twitterverse. That might sound hypocritical in a satirical column – but we’d love to have less serious stuff to make fun of.

Leave a Reply

Prove that you are human *

Previous post:

Next post: