Giving Thanks

I’m thankful that the potholes on my street are still smaller than my car, this time of year.

I’m thankful that the Independent Man is wearing a loin cloth. It’s nice to see a man in a position of authority who knows how to keep his junk hidden.

I’m thankful that the Big Blue Bug’s smaller brethren are not, for the most part, Marvel-mutant blue and super powered.

I’m thankful for every uncapsized Russian sub in RI this season.

I’m thankful for Haven Brothers’ proximity to that giant tree everyone has to go ogle at City Hall.

I’m thankful that regulated consumer cannabis is almost here … even if it’s only over the border.

I’m thankful for the local red gravy. The toupée is gone, but the sauce goes on.

I’m thankful for the fresh smell of hairspray in Johnston. Drive through with your windows open if the fake pine tree on your rear view has run out of steam.

I’m thankful for power. When National Grid and the weather permit.

I’m thankful for turkey, tofurkey, turduckens and Autocrat syrup to pour over all of them, making them local dishes.

I’m thankful that I won’t crave Del’s for another 6 months. Well, and a little sad, frankly. More global warming, please!

I’m thankful for Rs. They’ah easy to misplace.