We Brake for Natural Condoms

Although the exact origin of condoms is debated by archaeologists and historians, Greek mythology alludes to their first use back in 150 AD, when, according to legend, Minos, the first king of Crete, used a goat’s bladder to serve as a female condom. One can only hope that the female was human.

The oldest condoms ever excavated were discovered in 1642, in a cesspit on the grounds of Dudley Castle in England. They were made from animal membrane. Before the 1800s, nearly all condoms were made of intestine or bladder tissue from animals, or from chemically treated linen. There were, however, some truly bizarre alternatives in the record books, including dipping the penis in tar, and soaking it in onion juice. After rubber was patented by Charles Goodyear in 1844, condoms became a dip and mold product. However, a big drawback to this method was that it required adding gasoline or benzene to the rubber, making the manufacturing process a real fire hazard. When latex, a less volatile, water-suspended material, was invented in 1920, condoms evolved to the product we know today, available in a rainbow of colors, sizes, textures and flavors.

Condoms reigned as the most popular birth control method in the Western world until they temporarily lost favor when The Pill was approved by the FDA in 1960. But with the advent of the AIDS epidemic in 1981, the popularity of condoms soared once again worldwide. From 1985 through 1987, there were national promotion campaigns in both the US and Europe. During this time, Swiss condom use increased by 80% and condom sales in the UK increased by 20%. By the 1990s, condoms ranked third in popularity among married couples in the United States and a strong second among single women.

In the past, when you saw “natural” on condoms, it meant sheepskin, which is actually made from the lining of ovine intestines. This somewhat off-putting material allows condoms to be incredibly thin, increasing both body warmth and sensation. The natural material is ideal for those with latex allergies, and may also be paired with oil-based lubricants, which can dissolve latex condoms. But there is one glaring disadvantage: They cannot protect against STDs. Like all skin, they have tiny pores; they can block the passage of sperm, but not the transmission of much tinier viruses and bacteria. Sheepskin is also a lot more expensive than latex condoms.

Fast forward to 2017. The 21st century condom user is a far more discerning customer. Today, “natural” has taken on an entirely new meaning. Consider the vegan. Would a guy who won’t wear leather sandals because they are made from a cow be caught dead with sheep intestines wrapped around his penis? Please! And even latex condoms contain casein, which is a milk derivative. Conscientious vegans needed a new alternative. Enter the certified ethical, vegan and Fair Trade condom.

These groundbreaking miracle condoms are made out of … (drum roll, please) … latex. But it’s really good latex, “crafted” (by elves in hollow trees?) using a special formula of plant-based rubber latex and thistle extract. Meika Hollender, whose father founded the eco-friendly household cleaning line Seventh Generation, carries on the family tradition with her own line of condoms called Sustain. This chemical- and carcinogen-free product is marketed to women. Socially conscious consumers can feel good about investing in these somewhat pricier products — 10% of profits go to organizations that provide reproductive healthcare and family planning services to women in the US.

Talia Frenkel founded another new brand, L. condoms, which address a very sensitive issue. Her company has developed a process that reduces the proteins in natural latex that can cause allergic reactions. For the convenience of time-challenged adults, L. even has a guaranteed one-hour delivery service.

Condoms are the perfect portable birth control. They are cheap, readily available and can please even the most finicky fornicator. Interesting side note: If you make your own wine, condoms are the perfect cap for those fermenting bottles. You can also waterproof your phone, protect bandages and make impromptu rubber bands out of them. Just be prepared to explain it to the kids.