Phillipe & Jorge’s Cool, Cool World: Leader of the Free World … for Me to Poop On!

Trump, the Insult Dog

Every day, Phillipe and Jorge awaken in hopes that America and President Pussy-Grabber will have finally returned to sanity. (Well, in the frothing Orange Orangutan’s case, he may not have been sane to begin with.) Call us cock-eyed optimists, but we always look for the positive side of things. Unfortunately, in the case of our country’s leader, there is no up-side.

What have we become as a nation when the main channel of communication from the White House is a social media website that limits your post to 280 characters? And despite ourselves, and the grievous future implications, P&J couldn’t help but laugh ourselves sick when the president got angry with Iran, and really showed them by sending out a threatening tweet IN ALL CAPS. Wow! Bow-wow!

President Big Baby was in fine form recently when he spoke to the Veterans of Foreign Wars annual convention. He evidently received a warm and enthusiastic reception, which is necessary for The Donald to feed his ever-expanding ego and desperately insecure mindset. It turned out to be more of a Trump rally than a keynote speech.

Why veterans who admirably served their country would cotton up to a man who received five deferments from the draft during the Vietnam War due to bone spurs in his foot (that puts you in the category of draft dodger, along with Dick Cheney and Dubya Bush) is beyond us. What P&J used as a measure of how legit the bone spurs were came when The Donald was unable to say which foot they were in when asked by the press. As P&J and our contemporaries know, anything that got you out of the draft is burned into your memory, whether it was the number you got in the lottery or a physical defect. How much did Papa Trump give to a doctor to produce that bone spur diagnosis? Just asking.

In his wannabe dictator role, the president sicced the crowd on the media (well known in Trumpland as “enemies of the people”). Then, slipping into the delusional world he lives in, the professional a-hole and porn star banger said, “Just remember what you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening.” Yeah, who are you going to believe, Donald Trump or your lying eyes? This, of course, ended up with some of the crowd, probably those with brain damage from their years in the service, booing and hissing at the reporters on hand. President Pussy, a real class act.

Kudos to the organizers for standing up for the media and saying they were welcome guests. They also pointed out that the VFW is non-partisan. As one said, “This was a political speech. This is not what you do at a VFW convention… He didn’t have to come out here and talk about how great he is. That’s not what you do here.” Beg to somewhat differ, but the narcissistic Trump must talk about himself due to deep insecurities that are evident in everything he does. Is that good enough, Daddy?

With displays of an addled and not too bright brain like this, it’s time America came to its senses before Benito Trump goes completely into faux dictator mode. So to make sure we get our point across, GO F—K YOURSELF, DONNIE AND INVANKA, DON JR. AND JARED, TOO. (That’s fewer than 280 characters, right?)

Now Is the Time for Real Change

C’mon RIPTA

Going Local

Good Man Gone

Rhode Island lost one of the true heavyweights in the local political arena — as well as many others — with the passing last week of Mike Doyle.

You probably don’t know his name, but that’s because he kept a very low profile while steering the direction a pol or project would go. If he didn’t have a hand in any major project or campaign’s strategy from the get-go, then he had his finger on its pulse. Think Providence Place Mall, the growth of gambling at Twin River, the airport expansion and the Central Landfill.

Phillipe and Jorge first met Mike when he was chief of staff for Governor Ed “Gerber Baby” DiPrete, and he wasn’t wild about our nickname for The Gerb. He came to that job after serving in the same powerful capacity for Little Rhody congresswoman Claudine “Schneidine” Schneider, and ended up sitting on, if not chairing, more boards and committees that we think actually existed. He was a hard charger and moderately conservative, but willing to sit down and share a drink or twain with P&J even if hours earlier all of us were informing the press that our adversary(s) were morons.

Doyle also co-founded and served as chair for the turbo-charged PR and communications outfit The RDW Group, which has helped influence and run interference on more key decisions for Little Rhody than you’ve had hot dinners.

Mike was a lot of fun, tough-minded and smart as a whip. He’ll be missed by many, including P&J.