Phillipe and Jorge’s Cool, Cool World: Kettle Goes Down, Squirrels and World Wars

It’s probably a good thing that Nicholas Kettle, the 27-year-old Republican state senator, has resigned from the RI Senate and the whole sordid mess he’s embroiled in will be heard in court. Accusations of twice extorting sex from a teenaged state house page and sharing nude photographs of his ex-girlfriend with a friend of his from New Hampshire is some serious business for sure.

Of course, P&J found some of the particulars of the accusations (such as that he allegedly met the “friend” from New Hampshire through the Boy Scouts) as even more jaw-dropping. That the state police arrested Kettle based on the evidence they compiled leads us to suspect there is plenty of reason for concern. All of the Biggest Little will be following this unsavory saga in the coming weeks and months.

An unusual story in the Feb 19 New York Times caught your superior correspondents’ eyes. It was about a librarian at New York’s Union College discovering an old leather-bound book with an envelope in it purportedly containing a lock of George Washington’s hair. That the trade in samples of our first president’s hair have been as numerous as fake samples of the “Holy Foreskin” were in ages past makes this the sort of discovery that is right up the Cool, Cool World’s alley.

Needless to say, this was of special interest to Jorge (Rudy Cheeks), most of whose hair departed his scalp decades ago. His first thought was to see if he could gather up enough of George’s hair to fashion a toupee that he could wear in a bizarre salute to the late Bud-I. As longtime Vo Dilunduhs know, Mayor Cianci’s pricey rugs (or “squirrels, as he took to calling them) were part of his legend.

Although Jorge would love to have a George Washington rug fashioned for him, his lack of funds to buy up the hair samples makes this an unlikely prospect and, starting up a GoFundMe for such a dubious endeavor seems like a non-starter.

One of the worst ideas in recent weeks was the offer to the Trump Administration by big-time GOP donor, Las Vegas casino owner and multi-billionaire Sheldon Adelson, to finance the building of a new US embassy in Jerusalem (a $500 million project) to replace the current embassy in Tel Aviv. This is, of course a major sore spot for Muslims worldwide.

Just as crazed and problematic is the idea of a wealthy private donor having such an active role in US foreign policy. And you wonder why Phillipe and Jorge sense that the world really has gone crazy. Sleep tight, living beings on earth.

…..to the URI men’s basketball team who automatically qualified for this year’s NCAA tournament by finishing first in the Atlantic 10 conference. Go Rhody and good luck, Rams.