Philippe & Jorge’s Cool, Cool World: Dispatches from the Boom Boom Room: Your superior correspondents laugh to keep from crying

In the Worst Way

It is quite embarrassing to admit, but P&J turned off the televised Senate Judicial Committee’s flamboyant hearings this week. Brett Kavanaugh is a mildly qualified GOP arse-licker designated to be a right wing plant in the Supreme Court. But P&J fear Kavanaugh as much as we did current Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts. Both have that look of a mommy‘s boy, forced to go to church on Sunday, but only after Mommy put some water or Brylcreem on their hair so she could make a straight part.

But Kavanaugh couldn’t possibly be that kind of guy. Consider the high standards he set by dragging his wife into it, who claimed she never once saw her hubby as a sexual predator, which is easy to admit publicly after the velvet-lined handcuffs are safely stowed away.

The punch line? Kavanaugh claims he was a virgin until after he graduated law school (read 22+ years old). Sorry, we are not buying that, but nice try. And how many men did your wife nail before you, Boy Scout?

As the ancient story goes, an embarrassed guy walks into his doctor‘s office and tells him that he thinks due to the physical evidence his friend saw in his genitalia that he might have an STD. To which the doctor responds, “Well, let’s take your friend out and have a look at him.”

Ba-boom!

On His Throne

Despite how appalling and abhorrent President Big Baby is, Phillipe and Jorge can sometimes get an eye-rolling, grimace cum chuckle out of what an incredible a-hole our commander-in-chief can be.

One thing we have always enjoyed is watching photo-op news clips on TV where the Orange Orangutan is shown sitting down. Take a good look — it always seems he’s squatting as if on a toilet. Since the bulk of The Donald’s deep thinking must come when he is ensconced on his thunder mug throne, this makes perfect sense.

And P&J were also delighted to see the international delegation of diplomats at the United Nations break out in laughter when the narcissistic congenital liar claimed that his administration had accomplished more than any other in US history. Perhaps our president doesn’t realize that not everyone is as stupid and clueless as he is, and thought someone might actually believe his continuous preposterous claims and self-aggrandizement.

A Tip of the Sombrero to Judge Caprio