The Roots Report: Please Take a Seat

Okee dokee folks… This is a public service announcement for those who attend concerts. There are these things that theaters have installed and they are called SEATS. They are used to SIT in, relax and enjoy the performances. It seems as though quite a few people have a hard time comprehending how to properly utilize these strange padded devices. When you purchase a concert ticket you are assigned a SEAT. This is not to be used as an area for your interpretive dance number during the show, it is meant to SIT in. I get it, the music moves you, and that is fine and dandy, but common courtesy should come before all else. You are not transparent; you block the view of people behind you. Please do your groovin’ seated. You may not want to give a lap dance to the furniture and your writhing may appear like you have a bad case of hemorrhoids, but standing up in an area meant to sit is just plain RUDE. Folks spend good money on tickets to enjoy a show. If you do feel the need to stand, PLEASE go to the back of the room.

I was at a show recently and the guy behind me was standing, as were the folks in front of me. I was sitting because I just wanted to relax and listen to the music. The guy behind me was dancing and holding a beer in one of those flimsy plastic cups. As if that wasn’t a precarious enough situation, his choreography included arm moves that had his beer waving over my head. I kept looking back and glaring at him and the beer. Finally I felt it — spilled beer on my head. I was livid. I yelled at him and gave him a look that was probably illegal in 50 states. The next time I turned around he was gone and did not return.

When I was younger, I would attend concerts with my brother and if people were standing in our way, we would use pennies as projectiles and bean them on the head. Lately I feel like I need to bring rolls of coins with me to shows. I get it, America is the land of the free, but if your freedom includes being extremely rude and ruining someone’s concert experience, then you are just an American Idiot. End of rant. Read on…

Speaking of American Idiots, Green Day’s rock musical American Idiot will be at Stadium Theatre in Woonsocket August 11 – 13. The story is of three disaffected young men and their trials and tribulations. The music was written by the pop/punk rock band Green Day and comes mostly from their American Idiot album. Also coming up at the Stadium Theatre: If you like cranky comedy then you ought to check out Ed Asner’s one-man play, A Man and His Prostate, on August 19! Other shows include: Edwin McCain, Jeffery Gaines, Travis Tritt and Art Garfunkel. For more, “Letterbomb” to StadiumTheatre.com

The Collaborative presents the 2nd Annual Warren Folk’s Festival on Sunday August 6, from 2 – 8pm at 30 Cutler Street in Warren. This year’s festival will feature art from local artists, including many members of The Collaborative, a craft table for kids and food from local restaurants. There will be a “craft beer garden” with all proceeds going to The Collaborative. The music stage will feature Warren and Bristol natives Six Star General and Jodie Treloar Sampson, along with Junior Beat, Natural Vibes (feat. members of Natural Element), Viking Jesus, The Low Cards and Ian Fitzgerald & Something Else. All proceeds from this event go to The Collaborative to help their mission to continue to bring meaningful and fun events to the community. For more, just folkin’ get to TheCollaborative02885.org

“The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down…” The legend does live on, and he is coming to Twin River. Gordon Lightfoot is known for his hits “Sundown,” If You Could Read My Mind,” “Carefree Highway,” “Rainy Day People” and of course, “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.” Lightfoot’s show will feature his well-known hits as well as some deep album cuts for the die-hard fans, all of which are woven together with some of Lightfoot’s behind-the-scenes stories and personal anecdotes from his 50-year musical career. For more: “gitchie gumee” to TwinRiver.com

Back when I was in ninth grade, a friend of mine gave me the Beach Boys album Endless Summer. I listened to it over and over again. Loved it. Coincidentally The Beach Boys were on tour that year and I got to see them for the first of many times. I will be seeing them again as they perform at RI Waterfront Events’ new Bold Point Park Summer venue on Wednesday, August 9. The Beach Boys are led by Mike Love and Bruce Johnston and continue the legacy of the iconic American band. A Beach Boys’ concert is a requisite of summer entertainment! (If you were at the June Empire Revue show, then you know why I am laughing about the Lake Lads right now!) Other scheduled shows are Kenny Wayne Shepard, The Waterfront Reggae Festival, Pat Benatar and Moe/Railroad Earth. For more, “Catch A Wave” to RIWaterfrontEvents.com

If you are curious to know “Where Have All The Cowboys Gone,” then you could get your answer at the Courthouse Center for the Arts. On Friday, August 11, Grammy-winner Paula Cole will make her CCA debut. Cole is also known for her popular “I Don’t Want to Wait,” which, besides being a radio mainstay, was the theme for TV’s “Dawson’s Creek.” The cowboy-ish country singer Grant Maloy Smith will return to the CCA Friday, August 18. Grant’s latest album, Dust Bowl, has garnered much praise. For more, “Tiger” to CourthouseArts.org

It will be “Coolsville” at the Narrows on Friday, August 4, when Rickie Lee Jones returns to the Fall River stage. This will be a trio show featuring a career retrospective of Jones’ music. Also coming up are the Ryan Montbleau Band, Los Straitjackets/Marshall Crenshaw, Janiva Magness and Shelby Lynn/Allison Moorer. For “Moorer,” get to NarrowsCenter.org

Do you like “Passionate Kisses” with a “Drunken Angel”? If so the Columbus Theatre has just what you need: a good dose of Lucinda Williams. The Grammy-winning and critically acclaimed songster will fill the historic auditorium on Broadway with her gravelly voice and biting lyrics on August 18. Chrissy Stewart, a local who is known for her work booking music at The Grange, running house concerts and being a Rhythm and Roots Festival artist liaison, has been on tour as Lucinda’s Production Manager. Chrissy had this to say: “I’m not sure how I got here, but I am feeling so blessed to be Lucinda Williams’ production manager. The crew and Lu feel like family and my heart leaps out of my chest with excitement every day!” Go Chrissy! The Low Anthem opens. For more, 1492 to ColumbusTheatre.com

Have you ever wanted to carry guitar cases, move drums and set up stages? Well, here is your chance. The Rhythm and Roots Festival and the Providence Folk Festival are looking for a few able-bodied volunteers. It is actually a lot of fun to do, and most stage crew members come back annually. Some of them are getting long in the tooth, so a little more youth would be good thing. For more, e-mail RISongwriters@yahoo.com.

That’s it for now. Thanks for reading. JohnFuzek.com

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