New RI Advertising Campaign to Include Subway

Subway is now among the partnerships being called on to help promote the Ocean State as part of the new branding just released. Yes, the chain of sandwich shops will feature “picturesque” photos of Iceland and other parts of the world, with the message “Visit Rhode Island” under each.

“We think the fact that they make no sense will add to the intrigue and curiosity about our state. It will draw out-of-the-box thinkers. Innovators. People who aren’t afraid to depart from reality. The sort of people we want to attract to our state,” said Governor Raimondo, explaining this aspect of the strategy. “It also maintains our carefully cultivated reputation for corruption, by drawing visitors with things that aren’t really here.”

The partnership will also be realized through a new sandwich called the Biggest Little, which will be exceptionally small. “In honor of the state’s size – but it will be tasty,” said spokespeople for Subway. The bread for this sandwich will be refrigerated, to keep it cooler, while roast beef or fish centers will be kept extra warm.

Retired and incarcerated Subways spokesperson Jared Fogel will stage a walk across the state to promote the new sandwich. He will be accompanied by a continuous police presence, an effort that has received a budget not greater than $5 million.

Ed. Note. April Fools. Normally, we wouldn’t give that away at the end of an article. But since the entire “new RI brand” has felt like an April Fool’s joke for days now, we were concerned people might believe this as well.