Phillipe & Jorge’s Cool, Cool World: We Have Some Questions

Simple Questions

Phillipe and Jorge may not have old-school, Brylcreemed, part-it-on-the-side Ivy League haircuts, and are not as scrubbed-up and bright and shiny as Hillary’s political advisors, but we can probably give her better input on how to run a campaign than her control freak know-it-alls.

How about starting out each day by asking the American public and the wretched, ink-stained hacks and talking hairdos of the media some simple questions such as, “Why won’t Donald Trump release his taxes? What is he hiding?” And then perhaps venture on by querying, “How much money is he in debt to Russian and Chinese investors? Shouldn’t we be shown?”

Yeah, that’s probably too simple for her smug, preening pack of Kennedy School of Government grads. But there is nothing that resonates more with the Great Unwashed than someone who is scamming the IRS, especially if he claims to have made $690+ million and isn’t paying a dime every April, while most of us are hunting down deposit soda bottles and donating blood for money to make the nut for what we owe the federal government.

“Because I’m smart,” was the orange oaf Mr. Buttinski’s comment during the first debate, which should up the ante on how much he should be despised.  So the rest of us are just numbnuts who are too stupid to game the system despite the fact he spends more on cosmetics and hair stylists each week than we all make in a year. And anyone who has been audited by the IRS, as Donald Duck-the-Truth falsely claims is the hold-up on the release of his detailed financial information, knows, it is a horror show. The IRS goes after folks a paycheck short of looking for a couch to sleep on while he skates by using deductions — some now being seen as illegal — to which those of us not sitting on bagso’bucks have no recourse.

The Trumpster knows that if his tax returns ever see the light of day he is toast. Because all his duped supporters, who the Donald wouldn’t piss on if they were on fire, should be precisely the ones who should be most furious, and they are the ones carrying his no-pay weight through their own hard-earned contributions to Americans’ everyday education, police and military programs, among other basics of life in the US of A.

Smart? Maybe. Anti-American? Definitely.

Simple Questions, Part Deux

It was heartening news to hear that Little Rhody’s General Treasurer Seth Magaziner is pulling the Biggest Little’s pension system investments out of hedge funds.

As everyone is aware, his predecessor, Governor Gigi, is totally smitten by Wall Street and the professional thieves known as hedge fund managers who produce nothing but thrive on others’ money. Which, under her leadership at the treasurer’s office, is how we started enriching her pals with her “nudge-nudge, wink-wink” blessing years ago.

An interesting question that we have yet to see asked, never mind answered, in the press is how much in total did hedge fund managers skim off in fees from the years of Vo Dilun’s investment, and just how much did the state get in earnings from these bandits in Armani suits and ties?

It is no wonder Governor Gigi gets wet every time someone says, “Goldman Sachs,” as to her it appears that anyone handling investments in New York City should be viewed as a Marvel superhero. The teachers and state employees whose funds are being carved off the top by the hedge fund honchos have rightly been upset by having Gigi’s pals make money off their labor. So it is nice to see that — finally — the treasurer’s office is looking for some professional investment firms that do not consider it their right to peel bills off Little Rhody’s roll for their new Mercedes or next ounce of blow.

And now would someone please total up just how much of a cut they really got, in ’Merican dollars?  Thanks, we’re busy watching the Pats, so just call us when you’ve got it.

Headline Story of the Week

File under “Wish We’d Thought of That.” From England’s Private Eye:

Trump Congratulates the Leader of Pneumonia

After shock reports that Hillary Clinton had been struck down by Pneumonia this week, Donald Trump congratulated the leader and the people of Pneumonia for their assistance.

“I get on great with the Pneumonians,” said the strange-haired fantasist yesterday. “I love the country of Pneumonia and I get on great with the Pneumonia leader, General whatsisname, who is a close personal friend of mine, and who’s said many nice things about me, and I’m glad to get the help of Pneumonia to defeat crooked Hillary Clinton.”