Got Beer? The Way to Your True Love’s Heart Is Through a Pint Glass

Valentine’s Day and craft beer typically go together like a fine French wine and the Nacho-Libre special at the local bowling alley. Not to say that it can’t have a place there, but let’s look at a few minor issues. Unfiltered beer has yeast, which will certainly produce some un-romantic results. Beer is carbonated, which also produces some un-romantic results. Beer can be filling, which can weigh you down when it comes to game time.

Maybe it has to do with the expectations put upon us by society that if the man does something perceived as un-romantic, then the mood is ruined and we must endure a tired sitcom-plot of an evening as he desperately tries to make it all up to an oddly unforgiving woman.

But let’s realize together that it’s the 21st century! Traditional gender roles are losing meaning, couples of all orientations are becoming more prevalent, and women are drinking beer. Gasp!

Beer can be romantic. If you’re one of the lucky men who found a woman who shares your love of a good craft beer, there’s a whole world of opportunities out there to romanticize beer. As always, the trick is in picking just the right brew for just the right occasion.

The big issue is that beer is more filling than wine, which is why moderation is encouraged and why the decision is such a difficult one. You want something that’s going to help you relax, but not distend your belly like a Simpsons character. You want something tasty, but not something that will cause gastrointestinal adventures all night.

It can be difficult to narrow down the exact brew for the occasion, but I can steer you in the right direction. Obviously avoid anything unfiltered, which tends to rule out most Belgian ales, wheat beers, and anything home-brewed. Stouts and porters should be considered only as a sipping beer, one nursed throughout the dinner. High-alcohol beers, tempting though they are, should be avoided so as not to overindulge too quickly. One should aim for lighter fare, such as crisp pilsners and gentle pale ales. One might be tempted by IPAs, but remember, hops have a sedative effect, and you’re going to need some energy later in the evening.

A light, crisp pilsner or pale ale can stand in for champagne, a medium-bodied Imperial IPA can provide a dryness akin to some white wines, and a nice porter can, when sipped slowly, stand in place of a deep red wine.

Also, the rise of coffee porters and stouts has led to the creation of a number of very nice after-dinner sipping drinks that will give you just the kick you need to keep awake and alert later in the evening.

If you’re looking for dessert, a beer float might fit the bill better than you’d expect. Picture this: A scoop of chocolate ice cream resting gently on a vanilla porter, or perhaps some vanilla gelato on a coffee stout? Perhaps even strawberry ice cream on a sweet cream ale if chocolate isn’t your thing. Maybe even simpler – rim a pint glass with sweetened cocoa powder and pour in a nice chocolate stout. Such desserts are inventive, and provide a lot of room for creativity.

So even if for some reason your reservation at a fine dining establishment is cancelled, or your significant other comes home too exhausted from work to surprise you with a night of dinner and dancing, there’s a better option than stewing angrily like a character from a below-average sitcom. I’ll guarantee there will be a few tables open at a local craft beer bar. Or, make a quick trip out to grab some select beers, and whip up a nice beer dinner at home. Maybe after said significant other relaxes and shrugs off whatever bad day she’s just endured, you can help her loosen up, perk up, and find a way to save the evening.