Reception: Feb 13, 6pm.
January 29 - May 17Opening reception: AHA! Thurs Feb 13, 6pm.
February 5 - July 26
Lunchtime with Gina With New Scientist magazine reporting on March 25 that scientists still don’t know if humans can catch the coronavirus twice, Governor Raimondo announced new measures to mitigate the risk. Speaking yesterday on her daily afternoon chat show, “Lunchtime with Gina,” she said, “It’s not enough that we stay 6 feet from other […]
The Latest Hollywood-Style Reboot: Hooters Returns For anyone who has ever hung out on Airport Road in Warwick, you’ll be familiar with the rapidly decaying Hooters building adjacent to All Stars Pub. Concerned that the sight will detract from Warwick’s beautiful skyline (and to distract from all his political problems), Mayor Solomon has vowed to […]
Snow Joke Rhode Islanders were again taken by surprise Sunday and Monday as snow fell in the state for the first time this winter. “Snow isn’t that frequent in Rhody,” explained a surprised Mikey from Cheapachet. “Sometimes we go whole seasons without seeing any. To have had this storm, well, let’s say nobody was expecting […]
In light of Thanksgiving’s imminent arrival, I, The Sarcastic Sauvage of the Kiowa and Apache peoples, will be Custering the Newspaper Cowboy, and taking over this edition of Alt-Facts. Get ready for some Indigenous truths, direct from Indian Country. Wiyot Tribe Wins “Indian Island” (could settlers think of a lazier name?) lies on the California […]
Save the Ice! (Lunchtime Quickie) Newly rebranded Dunkin, now without the Donuts, will enhance its stripped-back approach by dropping the ice from its range of iced coffees. Speaking from headquarters, Dunkin’s marketing manager, S. Presso, commented, “It’s been a success that really helps the bottom line; ice wastage is a big concern in the commercial […]
Brainwashing (and Drying) Last week, Rhode Islanders learned that the Democratic Party actively participates in the brainwashing of African-American communities. The revelation was brought to light by URI graduate and Trumpite Republican Candace Owens, who explained at a Rhode Island Young Republicans event that Democrats treat minorities “like puppies that need rescuing … they don’t […]
Don’t Be a Knob (Israel) Perpetual imperialist Israel is at it yet again. Last week, the nation’s prime minister, Benny Nuttyyahoo, announced plans to annex the West Bank should he survive the country’s upcoming election. The Anglo-Stalinist wet dream has spent the greater part of its existence tormenting their neighbors in the name of Yahweh, […]
Introducing the CCCP (Cranston Children Communist Party) As the public schools crisis continues to grip the state, the children of Rhode Island have taken matters into their own hands. On September 2, a pre-organized underground mob of 1,500 fourth graders stormed school buildings across Rhody and declared a coup in the name of communism and […]
1. It looks like a human liver that’s been rotated 90 degrees 2. Its national anthem is impossible to pronounce (try it, go on, try saying “Nunarput Utoqqarsuanngoravit”). 3. We should really try buying Ireland instead … or maybe some hot dogs. 4. Winter is coming, and that’s gonna be a bitch. 5. There are […]
Saving People Money (So They Can Shoot Better) We’ve all been there. Coming home from a long day at work, only a couple of hours before bed, but you still need to stock up on firearms so you can shoot the shit out of the minorities, immigrants, teachers and children threatening the integrity of this […]
