What is the best munchie food? The answer is simple, all munchie food is the best! It just depends on you. Are you hungry hungry or just looking for a snackaroo? Is it late at night or early morning? Are you willing to take a drive to get those tasty treats or hoping to stay put? All these questions and more come into play when it’s time to make a munchie decision. It’s good to have a plan and the Stoner Dad is here to help. I’ll be your guide from the crunchiest to the munchiest, from the sweetest, to the cheapest, whether it be a big savory meal or a little snack, refer to this list when the munchies set off and attack!
Starting your day with the almighty wake ‘n’ bake can kickstart things with a munchie attack of epic proportions. So go get breakfast, it’s the most important meal of the day.
Any diner will do, it’s just a matter of how greasy you want to get. Lately my breakfast destination of choice has been Cranston Diner. This place is a SOLID breakfast go-to. Their hash won’t get you high but I’ve never had a bad dish from this place, and I come here… often. I’ve had pancakes, eggs benne, all types of toast, and one time I even had the omelet with pineapple on it, that’s right – an omelet with pineapple on it. It was the Honolulu or Hawaiian-whatever omelet, it had pineapple on it, and it wasn’t bad.
As far as the rest of the day, BE READY. The munchies are defined as a “sudden desire for food,” so it is recommended you always have a snack and drink on hand. Think like a doomsday prepper and stock up, but remember: buying what you like at the store when you’re not high can differ from what you crave when you are high, so get a variety. Dollar stores are great for this. They offer variety and give you the best bang for your buck.
Now that we’ve taken care of breakfast and your kitchen cupboards are packed with snacks, here are a few unbe-weed-able options for high-time dining.
SPIKE’S JUNKYARD DOGS
A staple since my first 420, Spike’s serves up quality big beef hotdogs on french rolls with endless combinations of toppings and a curly fries side. Nothing says trashed like the junkyard.
IGGY’S
Two locations and they always got great coupons. Both Iggy’s are great, but nothing beats that beautiful crisp Oakland Beach air when you’re dunking a clam cake in a bowl of chowder and fighting off a flock of seagulls. All that seaweed gives them the munchies too.
TREE HOUSE TAVERN
I can’t tell you what they got to eat, because the menu has been different every time I’ve gone, but it’s always been great food! The atmosphere is colorful AF with different rooms full of fun decor. (One time I may or may not have seen a multicolored llama, but don’t go expecting that.) Looking around this place is a 420 friendly activity in and of itself.
MARCHETTIE’S
Perfect Italian food. If you know this place you know the portions! But did you know they also serve two kinds of calamari? One is served traditional with peppers and what not, and the other is served with this brown gravy sauce stuff. It’s amazing calamari, if you don’t think so I’ll CALLamari you a liar!
WRIGHT’S CHICKEN FARM
“I haven’t been there in a while,” is what people say, and what some of you just thought. And if you haven’t been, it’s a munchies Mecca of all-you-can-eat chicken, pasta, french fries, and salad. I don’t even know if this place has a menu, but they do have a gift shop that sells fudge, and offers Keno for all you degenerates!
DESSERTS
Any bakery will do the trick when you’re baked — it’s literally baked into the name! A high person looking at pastry in a bakery is like when little kids look at puppies in the pet store. Only at a bakery you get to take the puppies home and eat them. Cakes, cookies, and puppy puffy pastry galore!
DINNER & A SHOW
The Black Duck Tavern, conveniently located next door to the Comedy Connection, has perfect sandwiches, killer entrées, and mozzarella ducks! YEAH! Mozz-ah-rella ducks! Who wouldn’t want to get high and eat a mozzarella duck before a night of hilarious stand-up (specifically before or after I headline the Comedy Connection 4/18 – 4/20, hint, hint )? Plus, showing your comedy ticket at The Black Duck gets you a discount.
If all else fails, there’s always Taco Bell. Enjoy your 420 and good luck with the munchies!
