If you’ve ever driven down Allens Avenue in Providence, you’ve probably noticed the sprawling parking lot and imposing cement walls of Club Desire Gentleman’s Club. Although I’ve never patronized this establishment, I am told that from lunchtime to 2am, customers can indulge in food, drink, and saucy adult entertainment to their heart’s content. There’s another “gentlemen’s club,” The Desire Lounge, outside of Philadelphia. And another, Desire Room, near Los Angeles. I’m sure there are others. Evidently, the marketing community has decided that “Desire” is the perfect name for a strip club. It’s far more provocative than other “feeling words.” Can you imagine an Affection Gentleman’s Club? Club Yearning? The Hankering Hotel? They don’t pack the same mysterious, sexy punch.
Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines desire as both a verb and a noun, with the definition of the noun as “conscious impulse toward something that promises enjoyment or satisfaction in its attainment.” This is what sets desire apart from love and admiration. To desire is to have a void that you need to fill, literally or figuratively. Desire is not something achieved at a distance, but, rather, desire is about getting some(thing).
Every year around Valentine’s Day, little red hearts start popping up in store windows. Tiny cupids peek around the corners of the big box stores. Giant boxes of chocolates and plastic roses are suggestively positioned in every checkout line, from the grocery store to the pharmacy and beyond. Everywhere you turn, you are reminded of one glaringly commercialized fact: Someone out there is expecting you to declare your love for them on February 14. And if you look closely, you’ll see that the desire to take ownership of something or someone is at the heart of it all: “Will you be mine?”
Desire almost always implies opposing forces. It conjures images of the hunter and the hunted, of unsolicited admiration, attention, or advances, or unrequited love. In literature, theater, film, and in music, desire is often the force behind the protagonists’ actions – usually to their detriment. Desire can cause us to act in ways we might not normally act. What better time to think about these opposing forces than February, the month that brings into sharp focus the objects of our desire – and reminds us to send them cartoon human organs inscribed with sweet nothings.
While desire has taken center stage in all forms of entertainment, it has also had a strong influence on medical practices. Other than modern vaccines, aphrodisiacs are the most widely traded medicinal product in history. When Aphrodite rose from the sea and became the goddess of love in Greek mythology, all sea creatures were anointed as carriers of love potion. Oysters and other shellfish are still widely regarded to be libido-enhancing. Fruits and vegetables that resemble the male phallus (think cucumbers, squash, and bananas) have long been assumed to carry aphrodisiac qualities. The Kama Sutra recommends eating asparagus paste to increase sexual drive.
The use of aphrodisiacs is often portrayed as a sexual instigator, something to “get you in the mood.” However, their use is more widespread. The use of food, herbs, tonics, and liquors to improve human sexual function, ward off evil, and improve the chances of conception, have been in continuous development and use for thousands of years. For a period of time, aphrodisiacs were often prescribed by religious leaders to counteract the impacts of witchcraft. A 16th century Dutch physician, Laevinus Lemnius, noted in a published paper that babies who were conceived during a sexual encounter in which the woman did not find pleasure would almost inevitably be lazy and stupid. Aphrodisiacs were then used to ensure both parties enjoyed coupling.
When “having the horn” became common vernacular for the male erection in the 19th century, and the shortened version – horny — entered our general lexicon, rhinos were aggressively hunted to near extinction because their horns were believed to be a powerful aphrodisiac. The aphrodisiac is not without controversy, however. The sale of aphrodisiacs was prohibited near mosques for centuries, for fear they would corrupt the morals of good Muslims. And there’s very little clinical evidence that aphrodisiacs really work at all.
Seen as a force that can lead humans to act immorally, unjustly, and even violently, desire has been policed, regulated, and punished throughout time. Beliefs about what and whom were acceptable objects of human desire have been dictated by social norms, religious beliefs, policy, and legislation just as societal pressures have affected and determined regulations around consent, sexual behavior, and marriage. Desire drives the forces of capitalist societies and also exists in spite of them. It has been debated and shunned, indulged in, and killed for.
Desire is complex. It drives us forward, but how much we let it control us is determined by imposing the counterbalancing forces of morality, etiquette, and justice. Much like a recipe, a well-baked life needs just the right amount of desire, but too much might spoil the whole dish.
Desire is a powerful driver of human action. A desire to see your coworker naked might inspire crossing over from the professional to personal realms with a bold invitation – but it might also result in you losing your job. A desire to be rich and famous might inspire someone to take tremendous risks for perceived rewards. A desire to be respected and revered may inspire good deeds and civil service. So next time you are sitting in your cubicle, feeling the desire to quit your job and go work in a resort in the Bahamas, remember this: you are only human. Who or what we desire is the driving force behind most of our actions. Whatever it is you desire, you will inevitably be met with myriad reasons that you can or can not obtain it, as well as the moral reckoning of whether or not it is acceptable to go after what you want. Desire is at once simple and complex. It is one of the most basic tenets of the human experience.
