New Year’s resolutions tend to be short-lived. We usually make them after weeks of holiday binging, comforting ourselves with the thought that the damage can be undone through will power alone. So what if we’ve made the same resolutions two years in a row? Third time’s the charm!
Whose bright idea was this?
Surprisingly, we have the ancient Babylonians to thank. The first resolution was made nearly 4,000 years ago during the celebration of Spring Equinox, when a Babylonian king publicly vowed to be a better ruler. This open declaration of accountability laid the groundwork for the practice we are all familiar with today. It wasn’t until 45 BC that the Romans cemented January 1st as the beginning of the new year and added some practical elements for good measure, making it a custom to clean their homes, pay off debts, and return borrowed items.
These days our goals tend toward self-improvement. In 2024, the top resolutions were to exercise more, lose weight, make more money, and stop smoking, i.e. quit bad habits. All great ideas in theory – if only we could see them through. According to recent studies, only 9% of us do. 23% of people abandon their diets, gym memberships, and nicotine gum during the first week. Around 64% have given up by the end of the first month and the initial enthusiasm of the remaining hold-outs dribbles off by spring like the last of winter’s icicles.
I think that the ancient Babylonians had a better idea. What if we all just vowed, like the king, to be better people? What if we stood up like they do at AA meetings and admitted the truth? “Hi, my name is Larry. I make this same resolution every year but I just can’t get my shit together!”
The way that we go about it now, making a resolution is just us pretending that we have control when we don’t. It’s a game to trick ourselves into thinking that something has changed, when it hasn’t. We say the words, but we don’t make ourselves accountable; and without accountability, no change is possible.
Unfortunately, we live in times where accountability is optional and integrity can put us in the line of fire. The one sure thing we all know is that the bills keep coming. There are more reasons to rely on those crutches that keep us going than there are reasons to quit, slow down, and fall behind.
Here’s a theory with no scientific backing whatsoever: We become dependent on substances because we think we can trust them. They work every time. They don’t criticize or judge us. They don’t care what we look like. They just want us to keep coming back.
You sure can’t say the same for people.
There really is a certain logic to this misplaced trust, but there’s also an inherent flaw: A bottle of Jack can’t help you move your air conditioner. Your substance of choice won’t feed your cat when you’re out of town or make chicken soup when you’re sick. It doesn’t really give a crap about you. And you never think that stuff like that matters… until it does.
Last week, I was late for a doctor’s appointment. When I opened my back door, a man was standing there. He was a Jehovah’s Witness, the bane of every unwary door opener’s life. Grateful for an excuse to escape, I told him I was on my way out, took his literature, and thanked him. He went to his car. I went to mine.
But when I turned the key, there was nothing but a clicking noise. The damn thing wouldn’t start. I pulled out my phone to call an Uber. The battery was dead. I began to panic – I was facing a $50 fine for a last-minute cancellation, and a two-month wait for another appointment.
Then I did something that our parents warned us never to do. I got out, walked over to the Jehovah Witness’s car and asked that total stranger for a ride. There were five other people crammed in with him and there wasn’t really room, but they cheerfully scrunched together and made a place for me. And despite their fearful reputation, they made no attempt to shove their beliefs down my throat or convert me. They just drove me the five miles to my appointment, and wished me a pleasant day.
The point to this story? It’s simply this – everything that we have come to trust and depend on in our life works… until it doesn’t. In this case, it was my car that didn’t start. In the case of those bad habits you keep meaning to quit, it’s your body, your marriage, or your job that are going to eventually break down.
So this New Year’s, stop playing games and ditch the resolutions. Just be accountable. You know what you need to do. And if you can’t fix those problems on your own, have a little faith in people. Some of them really do want to help.