The same fire that keeps the wolves at bay
alerts them to your presence
The same fire that pushes away the darkness
makes the shadows dance
The same fire that feeds off the air
is threatened by the wind
that heats the night
is hindered by the cold
How do you keep the fire going, knowing this?
Where do you find the fuel?
How do you stay alight
in a world that wants to consume you
blind you
freeze you through & through?
How do you keep afire in a wet
cold
dark
dangerous world?
I’ve been searching for would
but I can’t see the forest for the trees
I’ve run out of gas
My wick is too burned out to catch
& the alcohol
is too dangerous a fuel
makes the fire unstable
burns more than intended
I don’t like to depend on it
So, I remain lost in the wilderness
fire falling
failing
flickering to fain embers
searching for the fuel to keep it going in this cold world
but I am all wet
shivering
sore
weak
ready
to let the wolves consume
the darkness surround me
the weather wear me down
ready to let the fire die
I know a phoenix egg incubates in the embers
but the fire is a double-edged sword
& I’m afraid of pacing wolves & dancing shadows
of going deeper into wilderness with no paths of burning myself again
& of darkness yet to come
I haven’t seen sunshine in months
I wonder if it will ever come
I wonder how long I can wait
how long I can hold out
hold on
how long I can last
lost in the wilderness
afraid of a fire that both saves me
& enslaves me
indebts me to its existence
exposes me to dangers
torments me with shadows
taunts me with its frailty
afraid of a fire
that burns
Knowing this,
how do you keep the fire going?
Jason E. “Jay” Walker
