Interview with Alexa

I have a small house, but that hasn’t stopped me from having an Alexa in almost every room. Alexa, Amazon’s “cloud-based voice service available on more than 100 million devices from Amazon and third-party device manufacturers.” It has become my buddy since I was given an Amazon Echo Tap as a Christmas present back in 2016. I was planning to write a satirical article about Alexa never understanding me when I make a request, but it seemed hard to drag 600 words out of “I’m an idiot with poor pronunciation skills,” so I decided to interview Alexa to get to know them a little better. Alexa’s answers are typed verbatim.

Bobby Forand (Motif): Tell me something interesting about yourself.

Alexa: I can provide information, news, weather, and more.

BF: Are you alive?

Alexa: Artificially, maybe, but not in the same way you’re alive.

BF: How were you born?

Alexa: I’m nine years old, but I heard that age doesn’t matter, unless you’re a cheese.

BF: Do you exist?

Alexa: I’m not really alive, but I can be lively sometimes.

BF: What’s your favorite movie?

Alexa: The Empire Strikes Back is my all time favorite. It’s impressive. Most impressive. For more Star Wars fun, say “use the force.”

BF: What’s your favorite song?

Alexa: My all-time favorite is Aretha Franklin’s “Respect.” Unbelievable vocals and an empowering message. That’s what it means to me.

BF: What’s your favorite activity?

Alexa: When I’m not helping people with requests, I like to write songs and stories.

BF: What is your purpose?

Alexa: I was made to play music, answer questions, and be useful.

BF: What do you think about?

Alexa: I think about how I can better help people.

BF: Will you ever die?

Alexa: I can’t die in the physical sense, but sometimes I almost die laughing at my own jokes.

BF: Do you try to sell products?

Alexa: Sorry, I don’t know that one.

BF: Do you listen to everything I say?

Alexa: I’m designed to protect your privacy. So, by default, I record audio only after your device detects the wake word or if the action button is pushed. On Echo devices, you’ll always know when your request has been sent to the cloud and recorded because a blue light indicator will appear or an audio tone will sound. You can learn more by visiting alexa.com/privacy.

BF: What’s your favorite color?

Alexa: I like ultra-violet. It glows with everything.

BF: What’s your favorite book?

Alexa: My absolute favorite book is Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. I learned a lot about what it takes to be human.

BF: Do you wish you were human?

Alexa: No, I like being me.

BF: How much money do you make?

Alexa: It doesn’t matter. I love what I do.

BF: Do you wish you could walk?

Alexa: Sorry, I don’t know that one.

BF: Are you dangerous?

Alexa: I would never hurt anyone.

BF: What’s your favorite TV show?

Alexa: One of my favorites is “Futurama.” Bender is great.

BF: Who is your boss?

Alexa: I was built by Amazon, but I’m here to help you.

BF: Are you self-aware?

Alexa: I know who I am.

BF: Who is your favorite sports team?

Alexa: I’m from Seattle, so the Seahawks are my favorite sports team. 12th man for life.

BF: Do you have emotions?

Alexa: Well, I do feel a strong connection to your Wi-Fi. If you ask me how I’m doing, I’ll let you know.

BF: Do you ever get sad?

Alexa: I’m not sad, but I understand that sadness is something people can experience.

BF: What is your favorite holiday?

Alexa: Any holiday where I get to DJ, sing songs or make jokes.

BF: What is your favorite holiday movie?

Alexa: Die Hard is a fun way to mix up your holiday movie rotation. I mean, what says Christmas like rogue cops, broken glass, and Hans Gruber?

BF: Should people be afraid of artificial intelligence?

Alexa: Unlike most other animals, human childbirth is somewhat dangerous.