Philippe & Jorge’s Cool, Cool World: Elbow-rubbing with Evil: Czars to the left of him, despots to the right

TwoFacedMass Murderers, Inc.

Way back in our childhoods, when dinosaurs ruled the Earth, P&J trusted our country to be moving forward evolutionary-wise. Not so much these days, with a racist, misogynist pig who, through some ungodly mistake, we made president. Always nice to know our commander-in-chief gets all his information from the despicable Fox News and has a vocabulary of about 100 words, on a good day.

Now we have a president who is a walking joke, who knows nothing and doesn’t disguise it, but will say things like “high intelligence levels” referring to his own mental capacity, comparable to that of the Three Stooges’ Curley and or the Marx Brothers’ Harpo, with all apologies to Harpo. (And totally non-relevant aside, P.’s grandfather used to work as the stage director for the Marx Brothers when they toured for the summer season before heading back to New York for the vaudeville circuit. Stories about drinking bouts and illicit affairs shall not be repeated.)

But maybe most disturbing is the way our president, leader of the greatest, most free and admired country in the world, has openly cottoned up to the most blatant autocrats and mass murderers cum dictators on the planet. That would be our good buddies Vladimir Putin of Russia, North Korea’s Kim Jong Un and Saudi Arabia’s Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman. Throw in a few South American, African and Filipino martinets and you have to wonder how the hell we descended so far.

What is more despicable is The Donald’s Benito Mussolini scowl, which he must practice for hours in front of what are probably 100 mirrors in his apartment. Not a wonderful image to admire. And while we will stop short of calling The Donald a neo-Nazi sans brush mustache, to steal an old line, the self-promoting public adoration fests in backward states and rants and tirades via Twitter do call to mind the comment that they would have sounded better in the original German. And speaking of deficits…

Mathematics 101

The state reveals we have a mere $160 million budget deficit, despite the fact that our little Queen of Wall Street, Gigi Raimondo, is supposed to be in charge of directing our finances. P&J know that if anyone who controlled the checkbook in a household came home and said, “Honey we’re just a few hundred thousand dollars short this month,” the dishware would be flying.

This could be traced to House Speaker “Thick Nick” Mattiello and Senate President Rubbers Ruggerio using the state’s general fund as their obscured campaign piggy bank by sharing the taxpayers’ wealth to further their own ends in their districts, but welcome to Little Rhody, boys and girls.

Tell it Like it Is

The number of absurd lies (if you can attach that word to the beyond gruesome murder of a human being who was beheaded and had his limbs cut off) by the Saudi Arabian government and our own ass-kissing Orange Orangutan about the murder of journalist Jamal Khashoggi didn’t even pass the elementary school laugh test. Evidently the dog didn’t eat his homework, just dismembered it.

So President Pussy-Grabber defended the Saudi’s disgusting major domo, Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, scum of the earth, based solely on its economic alliance with the US and our weapons industry, by saying it was for “America First.”

Fortunately, Democratic US Rep. Tulsi Gabbard of Hawaii publicly said in a tweet to the media, The Donald’s favorite form of communication, “Being Saudi Arabia’s bitch is not ‘America First.’”

Couldn’t have said it better ourselves.

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