In this issue, we have a question from AL. AL writes: “I have big goals for myself but no idea how to begin achieving them. It’s like I put one foot forward and then freeze and back up again. I don’t want to lose the life I’ve built. But I feel frozen. Am I just not ready? What should I do?”
First of all, thank you so much for writing in with this question, AL. This is so real and I know other readers will be able to relate to this. Let’s start with your tarot cards: the 5 of Pentacles (reversed) and the Ace of Swords.
By voicing this question and walking with this feeling, you’re already recognizing the parts of you still existing in a paradigm that isn’t supporting the powerful alchemy of your unbridled desire (your “big goals”). I also see your feeling of being “frozen” directly in the card, with these two central figures dragging themselves through the snow. They look like they’re suffering, and while they are moving begrudgingly forward on the same path, they appear disconnected from each other.
The fact that this card is reversed signifies a shift, which is the true medicine of the 5 of Pentacles. If the figures in the card would only stop to speak with each other, or take a breath and look around them, they would see the glowing, warm light inviting them into the sanctuary beside them. There is reprieve and inspiration within the cathedral, a place to “thaw out.” In your current life, how can you thaw out this feeling of being frozen? Who do you spend time with that warms your toes and softens your icy edges? Your passion for these goals will also warm you, if you’re willing to settle into the process of becoming. Our visions take the time they take. We devote ourselves to their actualization when we feel them in our hearts, when we let them breathe the way forward into our own life.
Something I’ve come to understand in my work with the Akashic Field is that our goals and dreams all have spirits. When we step out of the narrow, linear lens of the patriarchy into the pluriverse, we begin to remember this. Everything is agential. If you are dreaming a dream, the dream is also dreaming you. There is a channel that opens. You are connected. This is where the Ace of Swords comes in, a card holding the power of claiming your personal Excalibur. This is a dream only you can claim. You are meant for each other. There is clarity and inspiration lighting the way forward when you let your goals guide you.
So often we hear the phrase “trust the process,” but what does it really mean? To trust the process isn’t a passive sitting back and smiling through hardship. It means to trust that when you’re holding a goal in your heart and your mind, the subsequent events are part of its becoming. Sometimes we require destabilization in order to restabilize in deeper alignment with our goals. The frozen ice has to crack as it melts. We can’t stand comfortably on a frozen lake when spring is coming. We have to get out of the way so we can warm and water ourselves again.
AL, if you have big dreams, I believe wholeheartedly that your life will shift to support them. You simply have to be willing to go on the journey, and trust whatever that journey brings you. Are you ready? I think so. Is it ok to be afraid? Absolutely. Does aligning to a new goal mean your current life has to blow up? Not at all – unless you’re into that sort of thing. There is not always a linear way to making them come true, as we are collectively realizing. Instead we have to attune to the passion and pleasure of what we’re desiring, become curious about how these feelings may be guideposts on the path forward, and not get wrapped up in the “how,” which can quickly burn out our engines.
To answer your question of “what should I do?” Start with thawing yourself out. Tend to your freeze response. Find the warm feelings, the sunshine, the muses inspiring this change. At the bottom of the tarot deck we have The Lovers, reminding you that this isn’t something you have to carry a torch for alone. The medicine for the fear and freeze is connection, creativity, exploration, beauty. Shimmy out of the linear mindset of the overculture to find the Secret Third Thing. I’m reminded of one of the keys to living an erotic life, which is to romance each moment with a sensuality that is unattached to an outcome or agenda. It’s not that you should forget your goals – instead, trust that they are guiding you with resonant opportunity. It’s the ongoing reminder to romance the journey and explore how these goals are illuminating the way forward through passion and pleasure. The Lovers could also signify a significant change in momentum towards these goals during Gemini season in a couple months. How exciting!
AL, it’s ok that you don’t know how to achieve these big dreams. You’re ready the moment you decide you’re ready. There are no qualifications to claiming our big dreams. Take a page from Gemini’s book and get curious and playful about what is possible, and let your heart show you the way forward. It may look different than you could even imagine, and it could lead you to something vastly different yet somehow more perfect. As Spanish poet Antonio Machado says, “Traveler, there is no path. The path is made by walking. By walking, you make the path. And when you look back, you’ll see a road never to be trodden again.”
Wishing you magic and blessings in the unfolding of your goals. I hope you’ll write again to let us know how it’s going! xx
Have questions about your year, your dreams, your life? Write in to Beth Metal for a chance to have your question answered in the new Ask a Witch column. Beth will consult her oracles and draw from her own experience to offer spiritual advice for what ails, intrigues, or mystifies you. Write your questions in to askawitchmag@gmail.com or send some snail mail to Motif Magazine at 545 Pawtucket Ave, Pawtucket, RI 02860. Beth is also available for private sessions and events through her website, www.nearbethexperience.com.
