“Taking care of your mind is just as important as taking care of your body,” they say. I’m sure you’ve heard that before, said by the same people who don’t understand, who could never understand just what it’s like inside your mind, your brain — dare I go as far to say ‘your soul?’ And what makes it even worse is when the people who are *so* sure they understand— they threaten, they cajole, they laugh, they yell, whisper to others behind your back, or they just tell it straight to your face: “I don’t believe you.” So that makes their advice really worth something, doesn’t it?
Well, sometimes, these people with no mental struggles of their own — sometimes, they’re right. Your mind is just as important to take care of as your body. “Think of your mind as a car engine,” says my mother. “You wouldn’t want that breaking down, else the whole car won’t work at all.” And she’s right, as I experienced first hand after severe trauma years ago. And I am still, to this day, finding small, tiny moments that are magical, and just make me so, so happy. And very grateful to myself for finding the strength to live, even if it was clinging to the very edge, just barely hanging on.
I survived. But there are millions that don’t, male, female, it can happen to anyone. And some of us don’t have access to health care, don’t have access to hospitals, or to support groups, or are too scared to say something in public or private spaces, as someone may not understand, or make fun of us and laugh or yell at them. Trauma of this nature is almost a universal experience among those of us with mental illness.
We’ve come so far as a society, but we still have so far to go. Society has changed even since COVID, when we were trapped at home with people to actually talk to them, and not on our phones — although there was a lot of “doom-scrolling” as well, which is also bad for our mental health in its own way. We had nothing but the company of our own minds, for a time. We knew our lives would never be the same after the world-wide pandemic. We were low on hope. But as Jodie Whittaker’s Doctor says in “Doctor Who,” “Darkness never sustains, even if sometimes it feels like it might.”
This is a good quote to remember in dark times of mental illness too — and why do we still call it “mental illness?” Why has society labeled us as “ill,” applied that term to us without letting us have any say? That we are ill just because we’re different? We have all sorts of names for mental illness: anxiety, depression, bipolar, PTSD, and so many more. For so long, I thought PTSD was something that only soldiers got in war times who had been to battle. Turns out, this is a very common misconception (not discounting the veteran soldiers who do, in fact, live with PTSD every day). When I was diagnosed in the hospital with PTSD, I thought something was wrong, because I had never been in a war. But as the doctors explained to me, my body had gone through something so traumatic that it is going to feel like I’m reliving it every season as it happened in the past, even though, sanely, I know I’m safe.
I should say, of course, if you think you may be experiencing symptoms of a mental illness, it is very important to be diagnosed by a professional, NOT “Doctor Google.”
There is help out there, and no matter how alone you may feel, rest assured (by me and thousands of others who relate, maybe even someone reading this article), you are not alone. There are so many services out there to help. Trauma circles, online articles (sent by a professional), 988: The Suicide Help Number. NAMI (the main mental health organization in Massachusetts) has many groups like trauma circles, and to join is almost free at a single dollar. It is a great resource for meeting other people, and for realizing that you aren’t the only one who has mental struggles. There is also DBSA Boston, which you can join from anywhere in the states and abroad, online.
They host weekly meetings, check-ins in the morning and evening each day of the week, and creative spaces such as a song circle and poetry/writing sharing. 988 is the most important number to call if you’re in a crisis (they also have text and online chat if you feel more comfortable with this method), and they will complete a safety screening before your chat to make sure you’re, well…safe. Sometimes, just having someone to talk to (even family and friends!) can make a world of difference. Lean into creative hobbies when you need a pick-me-up – writing, reading, painting, gaming, gardening, – even Pinterest or Substack to bring joy back into your life again. Trust me, it really does help.
As Albus Dumbledore says in Prisoner of Azkaban, ”Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” Another good Dumbledore quote in Philosopher’s Stone, “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”