Phillipe & Jorge’s Cool, Cool World

Miss Management

The British have a phrase about general ineptitude, that “they couldn’t organize a piss-up in a brewery.”

It appears the Raimondo administration is falling into that category.

We have been treated to “Cooler and Warmer” and the UHIP debacle. Now it is revealed that because of missed deadlines for responding to legal demands, the state could be on the hook for millions of dollars in fines. Not only will these come out of the taxpayers’ pockets, but they could throw the entire state budget into a train wreck situation. And what makes it even more appalling is that the lawyers supposedly in charge of meeting the court deadlines are not even licensed to practice law in Little Rhody. The best and the brightest, indeed.

Governor Gigi appeared clueless about all these things. Maybe it’s time for her to consider a job managing a Burger King, if she could even run that well. Instead, she continues to race out of the Biggest Little to shake down donors to her campaign, especially her bosom buddies on Wall Street.

This total lack of oversight and management shows what’s wrong with Gigi’s administration. She hires a bunch of cronies to do grind-it-out duties they want no part of.

Gigi also seemed to have missed Harry Truman’s very responsible and correct edict that “The buck stops here.” That is, on the top man or woman’s desk. But Gigi runs away every time there is a screw-up, instead putting the blame on her underlings. No, Gigi, you are the ultimate party to blame, so suck it up and take responsibility.

Unfortunately, despite her annoying campaign ads, it is unlikely she will lose the next election, due to the lack of quality challengers to her throne. Incompetence is its own reward.

With the start of the World Cup, Phillipe and Jorge are reminded of one of the funniest things we have seen from the fans.

Years ago, one of the opening matches was between Scotland and Russia. There is a famous photo of the hard-partying Scottish fans going to the stadium with a big banner that read, “Alcoholism versus Communism.” Doesn’t get any better than that kind of sense of humor.

(This year’s best World Cup chuckle: Uruguay’s team has a player named Jose Jimenez. For those of certain years who remember the Bill Dana character, it’s a hoot every time they mention his name. But he’s not an astronaut.)

Creep Show

If President Pussy Grabber isn’t repulsive enough on his own, what a great idea to bring in Phantom of the Opera manqué and creepiest person on the planet, Rudy Giuliani, to be his lawyer and spokesperson, whether he knows what he’s talking about or not.

Giuliani looks like a bad version of Klaus Kinski in Nosferatu, save for Count Dracula’s better manners. If this is the face of America to the rest of the world, we’re in trouble.