Getting Lucky: A one-pint stand for the pure lust of the hop

If you read my last article, you will know that I am on a quest to find the perfect beer to date. Maybe, I just need a one pint stand. With so many beers from local breweries to choose from, this could be my new mantra. Just think about the lust-motivated thirst for a quick pint. Getting lucky with nothing personal shared except what happens when my lips hit the glass. 

Now, where does one go to get lucky? Is it better to go with the unfamiliar? The entire point of getting lucky is enjoying oneself with no strings attached – or in my case, pints.This is what brought me into Taproot Brewing Company. Visiting for the first time in a while felt like meeting a delicious stranger.

On a first name basis only the choices were extremely inviting: “Horsepower,” ”Strong,” ”F-Bomb,” ”King George,” ”Chaos,” and ”Comet,” to name a few. I knew getting lucky was going to be easy. Now, how do I decide? Can I have my way with them all? I asked Gina Lucia, Food and Beverage Supervisor of Taproot, who knows their beers inside and out. Gina cordially replied that I could. But first, let me establish some rules. I am just looking for something quick and satisfying. I don’t want anything more than a simple introduction. Getting in the know is tricky, complicated, and may lead to a commitment. I am too curious, however, and what harm can come from learning more about the pint I chose to partner with? I asked for a sample of the blonde ale. I am not personally into blondes, but with a name like Comet, this interstellar body may be just what I am looking for to rock my universe. Comets aren’t bound to stars, therefore I know that there won’t be any attachment to the Virgo constellation that I am. This 5.4% ABV ale has an earthy spice and a bready malt flavor. A touch of citrus hops were added that make this a unique and easily drinkable blonde. Gina explained to me that Comet was named after the dog of Taproot’s owner John Nunes. Motueka hops were added to this blonde ale as well, which allows Tueka, Paul’s dog (John’s brother and Taproot’s co-owner) to fair play in the name. This story behind the name makes this blonde hard to forget.

Now who would Gina get lucky with? “King George, all day and all night,” she said. Intrigued, I repeated her response. All day and all night! “Is he a porn star?” I asked. Gina was quick to reply, “Oh, he doesn’t kiss and tell.” This discrete lover and traditional Old British Style IPA is loyal and true to its roots. Taproot’s Brewer, Kevin Beachem, explained to me that he wanted to brew a beer the way British Style IPAs were originally made. This British OG has an ABV of 6.1%. It is floral and sweet on the nose. The malt-like flavor on the palate has a little spice and lingering bitter bite to it. It is completely understandable to me why Gina would choose this. Isn’t it obvious? He is the king and the best at doing everything. Can you resist a British accent? I know I can’t.

I read that Belgium was noted to be one of the top 15 best countries for a one night stand. May I have a Belgian “Strong” please?  At 11.5% ABV this Belgian certainly raised the heat. This delicious pint was deceivingly not boozy. Sweet on the lips and palate, this could definitely get away with being consumed very quickly. No quick slam wIth this. It is better if taken slow and steady to truly enjoy the fig, banana, and clove true to this style of beer. That is why this smooth operator is definitely one you need to try.

Since I am a hop head, which is another name for sexy bed hair, I knew I had to try “Horsepower.” I put my hand on the reins of this pour and I knew that was the stallion for me.  

If you are familiar with Taproot’s Mo-Zacca, this is a heavier double dry-hopped version. This sudsy steed rides in at 6.9%. The sweet nectarine flavors mingle with mango, pineapple, and citrus. The slight rind on the end sip of this makes me want to ride bareback. Hold onto your cowboy hat. This DIPA is going to make you yell yee-haw!

This one-nighter isn’t over yet. Sure, I have had a few quickies… I mean, beer samples. What would be more exciting than something unpredictable? Biologically speaking, a crazy spark of events can create the happy hormone, oxytocin, to be released. With that being said, I ordered myself some “Chaos.” Kevin Beachem explained to me that the hops were from Four Star Farm in Massachusetts. These hops are called Chaos hops. They were originally meant to be used in tea and they took over the farmland. Kevin thought this would be interesting to try in a DIPA. The result of this unique hop was a tropical explosion of unexpected flavors and an ABV of 8%. I believe a little chaos can be liberating. I am certainly inviting in any once-in-a-lifetime experience.

It was time to ask Kevin what beer to get lucky with. Who is better to ask than the brewer of Taproot? “It’s got to be F-Bomb for the name alone,” he confidently assured me. I had to agree. This three-hopped IPA ironically has an ABV of 6.9%. This hazy pint has a juicy stone fruit sweetness and a touch of tangerine rind bitterness. My wild imagination likes a little dirty talk. Even if it is the f word. I find it titillating. This will have you yelling, “F yes, more!” 

Maybe I am indecisive. Maybe I want many options. After visiting Taproot Brewing Company, I couldn’t pick just one pint to play with. I do feel lucky in having met the head brewer, however. He is friendly, intelligent, easy to talk to, and charismatic. Hands off, ladies. Kevin is a happily married man who just got back from his honeymoon this past January.

Whatever beer you decide to get lucky with, be sure to have fun, stay wild, and be safe. Why should you visit Taproot Brewing Company located in Newport Vineyards? Well, because just like one of their logos says, “I’d Tap That.”

Taproot Brewing Co. / Newport Vineyards
909 E Main Rd, Middletown
taprootbeer.com