Rhody Read: Stacey Love: My Lessons on Love, Life, Loss by Stacey Caputi Liakos

Stray Love is RI native Stacey Caputi Liakos’ compelling and candid memoir in which she recounts her decade-long relationship with Ray-Ray, a charismatic bad-boy and drug hustler, and wrestles with her realization that life – and the pull of the heart – is not always within her control.

In a conversational tone akin to swapping gossip with close friends, Stacey recounts the couple’s initial meeting, flirting, and partying. Through their evolution to love letters, courtship, and magnetic sexual attraction, Ray’s life was amped from the glamor, thrill, power, and money of hustling drugs. There were guns, drugs, and danger. Stacey, a high school honor student, athlete, and a self-proclaimed rebel, was always eager to accept a dare. Ray’s dangerous lifestyle and risky behavior began to captivate Stacey.

Throughout the memoir, she remains unfiltered and never pretends to be a victim or questions herself. Ray hid nothing, and Stacey dove into the relationship, eyes wide open. Sure, he used – and sold – recreational drugs, but so did many 20-somethings. Stacey is jolted out of complacency when the lead story on the evening news featured a mug shot of Ray’s buddy. He was arrested for possession of drugs with intent to sell. Stacey herself had partied with the guy. Could her secret life as a drug dealer’s girlfriend be exposed? Stacey is desensitized and unphased as risky behavior turns to drama and violence, each time willing to let more slide. Ray is one of the players in the world of drug use and abuse; Stacey, other friends, spouses, and even children are ancillary collateral damage. They ignore while hoping for change, but despite their best interests, love conquers all.

While Stacey built a successful communications career, she urged Ray to take a conventional job. Months before their fairytale wedding at the Biltmore, Ray quit his ‘real’ job and drank excessively. Unable to accept reality, numb to the upheavals, and figuring they were too far in, Stacey planned to deal with it after the honeymoon. Only days in, the couple were ejected from their honeymoon suite. Together for over a decade and tethered by marriage, Stacey feared for her future and suddenly realized she could not “fix” this. She struggles for years to make a clean break with one foot in and one out of the relationship – and their home – despite restraining orders, incessant calling, threats, and violence. Deep down, she knew she must leave Ray if she was to survive, but jail or death loomed as his fate.

Her story proves that, although it is impossible to erase a tumultuous decade of your life, growing through self-acceptance can provide happiness.

INTERVIEW WITH THE AUTHOR: Since this is RI, it makes perfect sense that I find myself seated opposite the diminutive brunette author, Stacey Liakos, in the modern conference room of DDL Advertising in East Providence. As agency owner, Liakos is every bit a picture of success. Boss Lady, her professional title, totally fits – optimistic, confident, accomplished, all with a touch of sass. Discussing Stray Love and Ray, there is still a lingering sense of regret. Her life dramatically changed with new love, a family, and a self-fulfilling career, but she still could not shake the feelings of guilt, shame, and failure. She started to write to heal, tucking the book away – ten years passed. Home-bound boredom during COVID inspired Stacey to dust off the manuscript – and despite her fears of judgment and blame – publish the book. “I knew if it happened to me, there were others who hid crazy lives of distress as collateral damage because of drugs.” Liakos confides, “I needed to acknowledge, even if only to myself, that part of my life. Wracked with guilt, I felt I should have saved him, but I didn’t.” Love is complex, even when genuine, and out of control. “My story with Ray is both happy and tragic. It is not unique, but I felt it was important to share,” explains Stacey. Now Stacey is living her best ‘most happy’ life.  “Stray was part of my journey. Today, I’m comfortable in my skin and at peace with where I’ve been. My past doesn’t define me; I am proud of the person I have become.”