Hey idiot, why are you and your friends getting high indoors? Don’t you know? We have a planet, a whole, big planet filled with trees, rivers, and critters. The outside world doesn’t have to start and end at your doorstep – come on, you can go farther than that! But where? Where can you and your fellowship go? Now is a perfect time for hiking. The weather is starting to get warm, but not too warm, and the mosquitoes are still in hell where they belong although be prepared regardless. The best place to be when high-hiking is an area that is low effort, somewhere with a nice, scenic view, but also well maintained to avoid injuring your precious knees or having to work too hard to traverse the area. You want to go somewhere where you can take in nature at a leisurely pace. Thankfully Rhode Island is home to many beautiful areas that are carefully maintained that include state parks, management areas and preserves.
An important note for everyone, when venturing on nature trails, please uphold the code of “Leave no trace.” Which means leave the trails the way you found them, no littering, or removing anything that would disrupt the local ecosystem. It’s also important to protect oneself with bug and tick spray as they become rampant around these parts. Another very important thing to keep in mind is that hunting season goes from mid-to-late April through May, so make sure to wear some kind of blaze orange if you are walking along these trails, to avoid becoming a taxidermied head in a New England Trump voters living room. Whatever orange article of clothing you wear should take up at least 200-square inches of space on your gross little body. A hat or a vest will do.
The first hiking spot I would recommend to you as a resident of RI that checks all of the boxes is Arcadia Management Area. This hiking area is home to several well-maintained trails, the best of which include a beautiful view of Browning Mill Pond. Browning Mill Pond and Tefft Hill is a 1.5-mile-long trail with some rocky spots, and it doesn’t get too muddy when it rains. From this trail you can watch the pond ripple as the sun beams overhead. Other easy trails you can find at Arcadia are Benn Utter Trail, which leads you to Step Stone Falls; despite being just as easy a trek as Browning Hill pond, this trail may get closed periodically during the muddy season of March through May, but if you get the chance, I highly recommend it.
Traveling down the state south from Arcadia, you’ll find Rockville Management Area. If you’re looking for a hiking trail that will offer you and your friends more seclusion to just chill in nature and maybe forage for cool mushrooms, Blue Pond Trail is the perfect place.
If you’re feeling a little more adventurous and want to take your stoney adventures a little more off the beaten path – or perhaps you’re looking for another area similar to Rockville Management, where you and your friends can be in nature but with a little more seclusion. Snake Den State Park might just be the place for you. Snake Den is much denser with its less-developed hiking trails, but like the others I have mentioned, it’s not too difficult to traverse. Because of these more off beaten and less developed trails, the snake den loop can get quite muddy, so it’s a great spot to bring your mutant pig boys.
What if you’re sitting there right now saying, “But I’m a meadow guy! Where can I go to see a meadow when I’m high?” Well, do not fret because I have the answer for you meadow-loving freaks. Ryan Park Loop is a breezy walk that’s under 2 miles. A great opportunity to spot wildlife as well as wide open meadows. Perhaps you’re interested in seeing some critters on your high tramp through the wilderness. Francis Carter Memorial Preserve is the perfect place to see wildlife. It wasn’t too long ago that some friends and I visited Rhode Island’s second-largest nature preserve for a high birdwatching session and trekked across the Grassland loop. A great area for spotting birds and insects. This trail has plenty of flatlands, but with shady tree sections as well. While a glistening pond is nice, there is just something about looking across a clear meadow on a slightly overcast spring day that gives you an odd sense of inner peace. Wear tick spray as the grass grows tall here.
There ya go! Just a few of the magical hiking spots that can be found around RI. Every trail that I have listed in this article is rated an “easy” by alltrails.com, guaranteeing a breezy trip for anybody, whether you’re an experienced hiker or new to walking in the woods. So stop watching “Family Guy” clips on YouTube and take your stoner ass out into nature, before the billionaires burn it all down to build data centers run on baby blood.