A quick look at the dating habits of Gen Z: The good and the bad.
Picture this: you have finally matched with someone on Tinder! After what felt like years trying to regain ground in the dating game, you have finally found someone who is willing to give you a chance. The texts are flirty, the vibe is cool, and that person even gives you their Instagram! The both of you agree to meet up at the local theater to catch a movie. Arriving at the theater, you notice that this person hasn’t shown up yet. “It’s cool,” you think to yourself. “I’m early anyway. They should be here any minute now.” So then, you wait. Five minutes go by. Fifteen minutes. Thirty minutes. An hour. Things are looking quite dire, so you open up Tinder to ask where this person is. No response. You open up Instagram, hoping that the person will respond there. Nothing. Eventually, you decide to head home, feeling depleted but hopeful that maybe there was an emergency and that you guys will reschedule. What you don’t realize is that the date confirmation is the last you will ever hear of that person.
What you just (hypothetically) experienced is what many of the younger generations deal with when it comes to dating. Dating within the world of Gen Z has become extremely tricky and very difficult to navigate within the digital world. It is because of the rise in not just technology, but different and evolving norms, that the dating habits of Gen Z have changed relative to the previous generation.
Dating apps by far have had the most influence on the current dating scene for Gen Z. While it is more streamlined now than when these apps first launched, a lot of people can still find certain types of strange people on those apps. Many users provide a certain image of themselves to make themselves look appealing, but when actually met in real life, you may discover that this individual is a shell of their online counterpart, making the experience disappointing. Some people even use the app to abuse others, which can be dangerous. Others scroll and swipe just to look for a casual “hook-up” rather than trying their hand in dating. Lastly, as seen in the above paragraph, you run the risk of being ghosted or ignored, both online and in-person.
This deep distrust of dating apps from Gen Z has led to a greater desire for honesty and forming genuine connections. However, because of the digital age, many are finding it hard to find partners due to a lack of social skills and a fear of being rejected or looking “cringe” while asking someone out. People are finding it more uncomfortable walking up to someone in a public setting out of fear of embarrassment, or looking too desperate. Although this is how people met in previous eras, to the members of Gen Z, it feels way too forced and not something that happens in an organic way.
During my research, I came across a blog post from Charlotte Maracina, a freelance journalist from England, who detailed her difficult dating life, which mirrored a lot of Gen Z’s feelings about the modern dating scene. However, while reading her story, I came across something interesting: her recent involvement in live, in-person singles events targeting Millennials and Gen Z. Many of these people have grown tired of the fakeness thrown in their face on dating apps and are interested in a more traditional and organic way of meeting others. Something that encourages forming connections, but also lowers the fear of rejection found in other public spaces like bars or the gym. These types of social events are something that has been on the rise as of late, as members of Gen Z prioritize true romantic partners within the modern dating scene.
To get a better understanding of the dating mindset of Gen Z, I interviewed students at Rhode Island College. Their responses were interesting, echoing many of the same complaints the wider generation has. Many of them take rejection poorly and feel super embarrassed about it, thus struggling with trying to match with someone they feel comfortable with. While they all agree that, when compared to previous generations, it is easier to date due to the accessibility of social media, it has also become harder. Nolan, a junior at Rhode Island College, mentions that it’s “harder to really know the person” if you’re just talking to them online. Another student, Val, states that connecting through social media can feel “superficial”. Stasia, a sophomore, describes dating as an even bigger challenge for people within the LGBTQ community, stating that within online spaces, everyone is “married” to each other, especially in the realm of lesbian dating. This presents a challenge where you’re not entirely sure if the person you’re with wants to get serious or not. An interesting trend I noticed with all of these students is a desire to return to a form of human connection. Jack, a senior, believes that unfortunately, phones and social media are the future of dating. Another senior, Riley, agrees, and states that because of this, personal connections are something that need to be brought back.
I went on to mention the rise of social events aimed at single members of Gen Z, to which all responded positively. Nolan even mentions how these types of events can help combat increased levels of loneliness that Gen Z feels after unsuccessful dating. Jack believes that these events are, mentally, a much healthier way of dating than online methods.
As the dating culture continues to evolve, many young people are finding themselves disillusioned with social media and the perceived images of many of its users. At this point, dating feels more commercial than anything – that natural spark that ignites when you first lock eyes with someone is extremely rare nowadays. That’s not to say that love is dead. With the rise in social events aimed at single Gen Z members, this is evidence of a longing for real, human connections and a tiredness of the constant social media use. Since Gen Z is the first generation born in the digital age, all we have ever known is the Internet and social media. Now, with events like these, there’s a way for Gen Z to truly connect with other people without facing the fear of rejection. Even with the constant presence and evolution of social media, if these social events continue, then the future of dating is a positive one. Maybe instead of endlessly scrolling through dating apps, you should attend one of these local events.
Events:
While this event is advertised as a speed dating one, the Cool Pickle Restaurant & Bar in Lincoln hosts such events aimed at Millennials and Gen Z. In fact, the next event will be held on Sunday, March 8 at 2pm. If you can handle the pressures of speed dating, I would highly recommend it. That way, you can at least lessen the amount of ghosts you get on dating apps. pre-dating.com
Skip the small talk: looking to meet someone or just make friends? Try “skip the small talk” night at Long Live Beer Works, 40 R Sprague St, Providence, on Thursday, February 26 from 6:30 to 8:30pm. The 21+ event aims to connect people with curated “big talk”. If you are not able to make it to this night, they hold regular events at a variety of locations. skipthesmalltalk.com