Alternative Facts: Pledging

I pledge allegiance

To the Donald,

Of the united holdings of Trump International.

And to the philosophy, for which he stands

One dollar, under investigation, diversified,

With profit and tax fraud for all.

The real pledge of allegiance was first recited by school children in 1892 as part of a Columbus Day celebratory / educational program. In 1954, Ike added his own spin by inserting the “under God” part. Wait, religious conservatism was better able to permeate the church-state membrane in the 1950s than in the 1890s? Guess so.

In any event, although most current US residents think it’s a sacrosanct and immutable tradition, there clearly is a precedent for a president rewording this thing – if the orange orangutan in the oval office (OOOO – credit P&J) wants to create his own loyalty oath.

Let us hope that he doesn’t manage to win over the hearts and minds of our young people before he emigrates to Russia.

In the current throw-down between team Trump and former FBI Director Comey, it is clear that one of the essential checks and balances of our entire governmental system has failed to function. Historically, although the FBI director does report to the president (directly to the attorney general, who reports to the pres), the relationships have traditionally been fortified by extensive records the FBI director would keep under personal lock and key. Directors in the past never had to threaten blackmail – it was always just implicitly understood, going back to J Edgar Hoover. So why didn’t Comey have the goods to shut Trump down J Edgar-style? Has the key to the secret storage locker gone missing? Been swiped by the CIA – or by the Russian GRU? It’s doubtful Acting Director McCabe inherited the keys to that kingdom, so we have to assume that somewhere there’s a secret door or revolving bookcase that’s been forgotten in some corner of the FBI. How exciting will it be when somebody randomly discovers that? Perhaps a loyalty pledge is required to open it.