I never really thought about whether my zodiac sign affected my beer drinking choices. Should I base my craft choice on my daily horoscope? I thought I should search for more knowledge and knew just the person to ask: my best friend Hayley Horzepa, a psychic tarot reader and coach, and owner of magicalpsychics.com. She’s been remotely channeling the answers to love, relationships, and more through phone and text since 2009 (well before working remotely was cool).
Hayley: Does the perfect soul mate, or in this case beer mate, really exist (based on your astrological sun sign)? Of course! Before you roll your eyes, just think about how crazy people act and drive during the full moon, and how the Moon controls the tides. Surely celestial bodies are bodacious enough to influence our taste in beer!
Aries (March 21-April 19): This sign of the ram is a fire sign and first sign of the zodiac. Its bold bull head is always trying to butt horns with others and is incapable of backing down. Perhaps a beer with a high alcohol volume would be best. Hayley agreed it could possibly calm down Aries’ confrontational nature. I recommend Rhode Rage from Newport Craft Brewing. Despite its name there’s nothing to get mad about while drinking this. This imperial IPA has an ABV of 8.5%, flavors of tropical and citrus fruit, and slight sweet malt and piney hops that linger on the palate.
Hayley says: Try not to step on their hooves. They may be the life of the party once they have had a few and if you go with the flow you may get to see their fun side.
Taurus (April 20-May 20): This stubborn bull likes things that feel good. If you treat them well they will be loyal but they may never leave. Clearly I have never dated a Taurus. The only being that has hung around has been four-legged. What is more loyal than a dog? This is why I recommend Penny from Six Pack Brewing. Named after a dog the owner had, Penny will keep the loving attention of the Taurus. This 7% ABV nitro peanut butter milk stout drinks like your favorite comfort beverage with sips of delicious sweet peanut butter evened out by rich coffee.
Hayley says: This dessert stout is the perfect beer to serve up to a Taurus. It will satiate Taurus’ hunger long enough to keep him by your side, or until happy hour is over.
Gemini (May 21-June 20): This twin has two sides. The good side is versatile and a quick learner. The bad side is competitive and judgmental. Disagree? I don’t. I dated one for years. Who knows what side will come out when they drink. Because they are quick to learn new skills, I recommend Vigilant Brewing’s golden ale, Who’s Your Caddy. This 5% ABV ale pours a golden hue with notes of corn and malt on the nose and palate. It is refreshing, drinkable, and sure to bring out the good side of Gemini.
Hayley says: An ale is the perfect choice for the Gemini who is trying to impress the entire taproom. What they choose when they leave the bar is a different story.
Cancer (June 21-July 22): Don’t be intimidated by the claws on this crab. They don’t like confrontation and are terrible communicators. They are, however, extremely passionate, nurturing, and loving. I recommend that Cancers drink DDH Super Fire by Canned Heat Craft Beer Company. This Imperial Double Dry Hopped IPA has an ABV of 8%. It has a hazy orange pour and is full of tropical, orange, and stone fruit. Its dank and pine back-end flavor is sure to have a Cancer crawling out of its shell in love.
Hayley says: I agree this DDH will get the crab to come out of its shell. You may even see the talkative side. This is only for a moment or until the beer goes buh-bye. Be sure to say what you need and say it fast in order to take advantage of this vulnerable moment, it will soon take refuge in the dark recess of its shell.
Leo (July 23-August 22): This dominant, wild-maned feline believes they are the ruler of all. Their confident and dominant behavior means their beer must have a standout label. Ravenous Brewing Company’s NEIPA, You Are Such An Ass has can art of a donkey in the desert with a raven on its back, which will definitely catch the eye of this big cat. It has a hazy golden pour and is citrus and dank on the nose. The flavor is citrus-forward, layered with tropical fruit flavors that dominate to the back-end sip. This 6% ABV NEIPA allows a Leo to show off and lead its pride.
Hayley says: The Leo is prone to peacocking and creating the best curated version of themselves possible. This beer may have been a cheap shot bought for them by an Aquarius friend or foe who subtly wanted to tell them how they really feel.
Virgo (August 23-September 22): The largest constellation of the zodiac signs, she is also the only woman. Is Virgo highly self-critical and a perfectionist? Absolutely. Does Virgo go above and beyond to help others? All the time, for the ones she loves, because of this, Virgo will drink any style of beer despite having her favorites. Can she pick one beer if she had to choose only one to drink for the rest of her life? No, she can not, and this isn’t because the can art doesn’t match their outfit. They may find another beer to love, not just to try.
Hayley says: Always playing the good hostess. This mutable sign is more likely to ask you what you are drinking. Always willing to try the beers of her peers. Drink up something for you and take back your power.
Libra (September 23-October 22): The Libra tries to maintain peace and balance. They are empathetic and comforting in times of stress. They are like squirrels trying to cross the road. Since they are so indecisive, others often have to make the decision for them. One of my friends is a Libra. I always order their beer and because of this, I think that Libras should drink Capisce, a collaboration from Proclamation Ale Company, Oberlin and Gift Horse Restaurants. This Italian-Style-Pilsner’s name means do you understand. It can not be any more perfect for a Libra. There are notes of grapefruit, corn, and berries on the nose. These flavors follow through to the palate and are effervescent and floral. This 5% ABV Italian Pilsner is unique and has a little bit of everything to satisfy that balance you need.
Hayley says: Most Libras are anything but balanced. They will appreciate your recommendations for sure, but they may also take credit for the idea. Capisce?
Scorpio (October 23-November 21): This arachnid has a stinger that can be toxic. They can be sneaky and secretive. They live life to the fullest. In that case, a Scorpio needs an adventure and nothing smaller than 7 Hillz. This NEIPA from Troy City Brewing is double dry-hopped. It clocks in at 7% ABV. It has a hazy orange pour with citrus on the nose and palate. It is fruity with flavors of orange and pineapple and there are just enough hops that allow the flavors to fall through to the back-end sip. This is perfect for the Scorpio who can be wild, intense, and is known to be horny. What the hell Scorpio? Let’s have a pint together! I will be sure to pack an anti-venom.
Hayley says: Scorpio is the dark, brooding water sign. Like the ocean there is much hidden below the surface. Whilst sharing a beer you may learn more about what is below the vast oceanic surface.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): This archer is not afraid to use the bow and arrow they carry. They are independent and flighty, hate being tied down, and are moody when it comes to love. Because of this, the Sagittarius needs a weekend alone. Lonely Weekend by Long Long Live Beerworks is what a half-man, half-horse needs to drink in its trough. This American NEIPA has an ABV of 7%. It has a hazy light yellow pour, and the scent of citrus fruit and tangerine follows through to the palate. There are flavors of tangerine rind and a piney hops dominating all the way to the back end sip.
Hayley says: Oh wanderlust Sagittarius, you are always open to trying new things, even if only to outrun the old things. Enthusiastic Sag will certainly see this flavorful brew as an adventure for his taste buds.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): I can appreciate the Capricorn’s goal-oriented nature. They seem to be able to motivate anyone to at least make a “to do” list. This goat can come across as being unemotional and cold when in fact it is the opposite. Musik Express from Narragansett Brewing is the perfect IPA to help this kid. This golden hazy pour has a scent of orange, lemon, and malt. There is a taste of citrus fruit on the front-end sip with a slight touch of malt on the back-end palate. This is light and refreshing and has an ABV of 6%. Named after the nostalgic Rocky Point “Music Express” this beer is a ride that is perfect to help this buck relax and have some fun.
Hayley says: The Capricorn usually prefers the time-tested classics, and what other local brewery is as time-tested as Narragansett? Although they are usually set in their ways, they most definitely will take a spin on this beer.
Aquarius (January 20-February 18): This water carrier is a philosophical thinker. This deep thinking sometimes leads to self-doubt. This aqua-air sign could use some reassurance through a hug and a beer called Liquid Hugs. This DIPA from Ragged Island Brewery has an ABV of 8%. It has a hazy orange pour and because of its large amount of Citra hops, it has strong notes of citrus fruit in the nose that remains dominant thru the first sip to the back-end palate. There are also some flavors of tropical fruit. It is crisp and refreshing.
Hayley says: This is a great recommendation for the Aquarius! They are inwardly doubtful, but a pro at mustering up the courage to fake it ‘til they make it. Liquid Hugs DIPA is just the beer to carry them until they break on through to the other side.
Pisces (February 19-March 20): This fish duo is imaginative and creative. They want to love and be loved. Never fear sea creatures, we all need and want love. Sand and Sea is where you Pisces need to be. This is a pale ale from Shaidzon Beer Company. It pours a transparent yellow. There is citrus and tropical fruit on the nose and palate. There are hops without bitterness and flavors of malt that balance out to the back-end sip. This is definitely a beer to keep this school of two happy and swimming in feelings of love.
Hayley says: This beer definitely compliments Pisces’ romantic side. I must caution this watery mess of a duo not to get too carried away with their endless utopian daydreams, or it may land this fish back in their parents’ basement.
Study your sign. Read your daily horoscope. And sip away some local craft beer pints to your celestial forecast!