Abuse is an experience that many individuals have unfortunately lived through, but it is a topic that doesn’t get the coverage it deserves. There is a stigma, along with the plethora of other emotions a victim faces which could lead them to hide their experience from loved ones, live in denial or be in constant fear of the unknown future that would come from speaking out. It is important that abuse is discussed and understood, becoming common knowledge and not something people want to sweep under the rug because it’s uncomfortable. Abuse is an epidemic that should be loud in support of victims.
Sojourner House offers a variety of services that give abuse victims the tools to rebuild their lives. They offer support 24/7 and receive daily requests for assistance from people in abusive relationships. President and CEO Vanessa Volz, J.D., reports that 2025 saw them support 2,335 total clients, engage 7,471 people through education and outreach programs, and field 2,696 hotline calls. They received 572 hotline calls in October and November, which is a 140% increase from the year before.
“We always see an increase in requests for help and support as winter approaches,” Volz says as one possible reason for the increase. “The threat of SNAP benefits being cut off in November prompted many recipients to seek other potential resources. We became the designated Regional Access Point for domestic violence victims in RI back in October. This is a process whereby we can help victims of abuse access permanent housing, which likely led to an increase in referrals.”
Vanessa was kind enough to share her expertise on the subject. Our hope is that someone reading this gets that extra bit of courage to reach out and take necessary steps to get out of a bad situation. Please know that we are all strong and we are all brave. We are all rooting for each other to live healthy and happy lives with minimal fear.
Motif: What are various types of abuse? How do they differ? How are they similar?
VV: This is a big question, and it is multilayered. A straightforward but simplistic response is that abuse manifests itself in many ways. Most people likely think of domestic violence and have an image of physical abuse, and possibly sexual abuse. Although those are definitely types of abuse, abuse can also appear as emotional, verbal, psychological, financial, and there are even cyber considerations now due to different types of technology that can be used to harass, stalk, or intimidate a victim. Victims who are marginalized might also experience other types of abuse; for example, someone who identifies as part of the LGBTQ+ community might have a partner who threatens to “out” them to friends, family, or an employer. A victim who has an undocumented immigration status might be threatened by their abuser with being reported.
Motif: What are the short- and long-term effects of abuse (for the victim and their loved ones)?
VV: It’s important to note that short- and long-term effects of abuse are profound and far-reaching, impacting both survivors and the people who care about them. In the short term, victims may experience fear, anxiety, disrupted sleep, physical injuries, and isolation as abusive partners work to undermine their sense of safety and autonomy. Over the long term, abuse can lead to chronic health conditions, depression, PTSD, financial and/or housing instability, and difficulty trusting others or maintaining supportive relationships. Children may struggle with confusion, guilt, behavioral challenges, or trauma symptoms of their own after witnessing violence, experiencing abuse firsthand, or living in an unpredictable, unstable environment. Abuse is not just a moment in time; it creates ripple effects that can last for years, which is why early intervention, community support, and access to trauma-informed services are so essential.
Motif: Why is it so difficult for people to speak up/admit they are being abused?
VV: It is often incredibly difficult for victims to speak up about abuse because abuse is rooted in power, control, and fear. Abusive partners commonly use threats, financial control, isolation, and emotional manipulation to make victims feel unsafe speaking out or convinced that no one will believe or support them. Many survivors also carry shame, stigma, or blame themselves, and these feelings are frequently reinforced by cultural messages that minimize abuse, or pressure people to keep family matters private. Practical barriers, such as fear of losing housing, childcare, immigration status, or financial stability, can also make disclosure feel impossible. In short, people often stay silent about abuse because the risks—emotional, physical, and economic—of speaking up can feel overwhelming without tangible support and a strong safety net.
Motif: What advice would you give to someone seeking help for themselves or a loved one they feel is being abused?
VV: For someone seeking help: Know that you don’t have to navigate this alone. Abuse is never your fault, and you deserve safety, dignity, and support. Whether you call a hotline, talk with an advocate, or confide in a friend you can trust, taking that first step can help you explore your options and begin planning for your safety at your own pace. You are not obligated to make any immediate decisions; simply reaching out is an act of strength, and resources exist to help you stay safe and regain control of your life.
For someone seeking help for a loved one:
Approach them with compassion and without judgment. Let them know you’re concerned, you believe them, and you’re there to support whatever choices they feel ready to make. Avoid pressuring them to leave or take actions that might increase their risk; instead, offer information about local resources, help them think through safety concerns, and keep the door open for future conversations. Your nonjudgmental support can be a lifeline for someone navigating an abusive relationship.
Motif: What can make people feel comfortable speaking up about their experience?
VV: People are more likely to speak up about abuse when they feel safe, believed, and supported. Survivors often need reassurance that they won’t be judged, blamed, or pressured into decisions before they are ready. Confidential, trauma-informed services, such as safety planning, supportive counseling, and housing assistance, can provide that space, as can friends, coworkers, and family members who listen without judgment and affirm the survivor’s autonomy. Community awareness efforts also play a major role: when workplaces, schools, health providers, and the media openly discuss domestic and sexual violence, it reduces stigma and helps survivors recognize that what they’re experiencing is not their fault and that help exists. Ultimately, people come forward when they trust that doing so will increase (and not decrease) their safety and options.
Motif: How does Sojourner House work with similar agencies?
VV: We absolutely work with many different organizations in RI to support both our clients and individuals who reach out to us that we can’t accommodate. Unfortunately, we are unable to serve everyone who reaches out to us for shelter or permanent housing, so we work with a number of other organizations who also provide housing. We work with many other organizations that provide clients with basic needs, adult education programs, peer recovery support, early childhood education, behavioral healthcare, and other critical resources. With each of these organizations, we refer clients to each other, help to brainstorm creative solutions to particular situations, and provide training to each other in our areas of expertise.
Motif: Helping people through their trauma is an incredibly important yet difficult and taxing job. How does Sojourner House support staff to ensure they are best able to support those in need?
VV: Supporting survivors requires skilled, non-judgmental and compassionate staff, and at Sojourner House we prioritize caring for our team so they can care for others. We provide extensive training, ongoing clinical supervision, and regular opportunities for professional development to ensure staff feel prepared and supported in their roles. We also emphasize a culture of teamwork and open communication, where employees can debrief challenging situations and access guidance from supervisors or our clinical and leadership teams. In addition, we offer resources focused on wellness to help reduce burnout in what is often emotionally demanding work.
If you are in immediate danger, call 911. Contact 988 or the Sojourner House Helpline at 401-765-3232 if you fear for your safety or the safety of a loved one. sojournerri.org