Bo and Luke Duke React to the Banning of the Confederate Flag

confederateOn Wednesday, July 1, Bo and Luke Duke of Hazzard County were confronted with the news that Warner Bros. would cease production on all merchandise displaying the confederate flag and that reruns of the popular television show would no longer air on TV Land. “This is a victory for Boss Hog,” says Luke.

“We aren’t racist. We’re just good ole boys, never meanin’ no harm,” says Luke Duke. “Taking the flag off the General Lee is like asking Daisy to wear shorts that don’t cram up her hoo-ha.”

When asked why they thought it was okay to paint their car with a notorious representation of slavery, Duke replied, “It is a symbol of the south, not a support of slavery,”

Added Bo, “We’re not racist. We have plenty of black friends.”

When pressed to name these black friends, Bo could only produce one name: Sheriff Big Ed Little of Chickasaw County. We contacted the sheriff and asked him to confirm his friendship with the Duke brothers. His only reply was, “Cracka ass motherfuckers.” Then he hung up.

According to the Duke Brothers, The Civil War wasn’t about slavery — it was about freedom, symbolized by the General Lee. “It’s like Boss Hogg,” says Luke. “He always wants to tell us what to do and how to conduct our business. Being free is about choosing how you want to conduct your business. Or whether you want to force someone else to do your business for you.”

Says Bo, “First Hogg took our guns — that’s why we gotta use bows and arrows all the time — now they’re taking the General Lee. Next thing you know they’ll ban hood slidin’.”

Still, despite the loss of the symbol, Bo and Luke will continue defying Boss Hogg. “Hazzard county hasn’t seen the last of us.”

When asked what they would change the name of the General Lee to, Luke replied, “I don’t know. Maybe the General Custer?”