Pub Amble: Hitting the Hill

Federal Hill has always been a contradiction to me. It’s a place that, from the outside, exudes glamour and luxury, with a rich history imbued in its very spirit. To a lot of people it’s the epicenter of Providence itself. On the other hand, I think: expensive and stuffy with crowds that will just not get me, and don’t want to get me. But one night, I was dragged to Federal Taphouse and Kitchen by a friend after we went to the Jack O’ Lantern Spectacular at Roger Williams, and I was pleasantly surprised by its down-to-earth staff, homey and comforting atmosphere, and amazing drinks and food. So it got me thinking that maybe the Hill isn’t so bad. I decided to investigate and get an up-close and personal feel for the reality of Federal Hill.

Michaela, who was my designated driver on our last pub amble, came with me once again. I was basically her driver. She was not on call and feeling in the mood to get frisky. I still had drinks since this was a pub amble, but I ate properly, took my time, had waters in between and limited myself to one drink per bar.

The night started off with hunger, per usual. We’ve been to Harry’s On the Main, but never Harry’s On the Hill. We had a craving for burgers and kryptonite aioli, and heck, we were going to get it. For me, bacon cheeseburger sliders, for Michaela, the fungus among us, with some sweet potato fries to split. To slide the food down I got an Alice In Wonderland, to be whimsical, with Finlandia mango vodka, X-Rated liqueur, pineapple, cranberry and orange juice. Michaela got the Madaket Mule, made with Nantucket 888 cranberry vodka, ginger beer and lime.

Our next destination was what inspired this whole trip: Federal Taphouse and Kitchen. There were two bartenders on that night. The first was Jake, who recently moved to PVD and had a knack for making killer cocktails. The other man was just getting off his shift, but gave us a few laughs and got the nickname “one-arm bartender” due to his arm cast. Jake helped me choose an awesome pineapple cider. Michaela wanted something with decadence, but that would make her rowdy. The solution: The Queen Bee Margarita with Patron Silver, Cointreau, house-made sour, and some honey, orange and lime. Jake also made another unique cocktail for Michaela. I completely forgot what kind of liquor was in it, but I remember it was tequila that tasted like bourbon. It wasn’t my type of drink, but Michaela sure slurped it right up.

Then my friend Jesse, on a parallel amble with a friend who had a birthday, told us to meet them at Don Jose Tequila. Jesse is a straight-edge boy. He doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke and you would kind of assume him to be a stick in the mud, but oh boy, he is the complete opposite. He is the type to buy everyone a round of shots, just to get the room loosened up.

Don Jose’s was super cute and decorated in a traditional Mexican style. The staff was a little frazzled because apparently there was a dramatic group in there before us, but the bartender was super friendly and explained how their margaritas are amazing because they use good tequila. So we got a pitcher to split between us and it did not disappoint. It was probably the best margarita I’ve ever had. It had that nice sour and sweetness to it while going down smoothly. Of course, everyone was feeling pretty damn good after margaritas, so they wanted to let off some steam and sing at Boombox. I had a feeling we weren’t going because when Michaela gets saucy, all she wants is her bed. Me, being a good friend, would not deny her that. Her bed was calling.

I started my night wanted to discover the reality of Federal Hill. I came away with some ideas — diversity, uniqueness, affordability — but there is still a lot to explore. The Hill has so many hidden gems, and I can’t wait to go back and unlock all its mystery. Though, next time I don’t want to drive. It holds my potential back too much.

Federal Taphouse and Kitchen: 279 Atwells Ave, PVD

Harry’s On The Main: 301 Atwells Ave, PVD

Don Jose Tequila: 351 Atwells Ave, PVD