That New Relationship Energy: How to be cool when you really don’t want to be

Hey Spyce,

So I’ve recently met a gorgeous girl and I am super excited about our developing relationship. I have not had a girlfriend for a while, and I’m really anxious to keep this one going. Here’s the thing. I just want to be with her all the time. I want to talk to her every day, and see her as often as I can. But I don’t want to scare her off and make her think that I’m some loser with nothing else going on in my life. I know that guys aren’t supposed to be like this, so I’m trying to keep it cool. It’s just hard to do when I’m so hot for her! 

Signed: Want it All

Hi ALL,

So there’s something that those of us who are well versed in the art of having multiple relationships called NRE (New Relationship Energy), and it’s a helluva drug! Sounds like you’re deep in the thick of it, and kudos to you on being willing to acknowledge that because most men are taught to not be open about their feelings or to admit that they have desires to bond deeply and quickly. 

However, whatever your gender, it’s important to be realistic and rational with the stage of the relationship that you’re in. While it can be so fun to burn it up when it’s hot, rushing things can lead to all kinds of misinterpretations and foolhardy decisions that may result in commitments that aren’t what you want with someone you don’t really even know. 

Think of your relationship like a tasty treat — something special to be savored, even if you would rather devour it in one bite. While it’s a lovely thing to be excited about getting to know someone, it’s important to not put anything else in your life on hold and to maintain healthy boundaries to ensure that your relationship can be solvent for the long haul.