Subterranean Jungle: Pizza & Power Ballads

THE RESURRECTION OF TEAZER

A long time ago, before COVID, back when dinosaurs and heavy metal bands roamed the roads, there was a RI band named Teazer. And one day in 2018, after years of sodomizing eardrums with heavy greasy metal thunder, it was over. We woke up one morning and Teazer was gone just like that Russian submarine — no farewell, no fanfare. So I was shocked to come across a flyer advertising a band called Teazer 2000. Could it be that Teazer? I reached out to Denny Palmari (vocals) and Ray Manzera (guitars) from Teazer to find out what the hell happened.

Marc Clarkin (Motif): There have been theories, ranging from being a foreign double agent to a fatal dinner at Uncle Tony’s. What really happened to Teazer in 2018?

Denny Palmari: Well, you’re close, kid. It was an argument about pizza toppings that got a bit heated.

Ray Manzera: It was supposed to be half hot peppers, and the other half olives. Instead, we got olives and hot peps on one half and just cheese on the other.

DP: Yeah, cuz you ordered it wrong. 

RM: Anyway, he hates olives, and I don’t like hot peps, so we fought over the cheese slices. We insulted each other’s mother and fists were thrown. The DeLuca Brothers ducked out and that was that.

DP: After Ray lost the fight, he took off somewhere. He was gone for four years.

MC: What dominoes had to fall for Teazer to reunite? Some have speculated it’s to bring peace in the Middle East, some say it’s a blatant cash grab, what’s the truth?   

DP: I bumped into Ray last summer at Pizza Marvin. We ended up sharing a pie and shot the shit for a while. We talked about our girlfriends leaving us and how we miss playing heavy tunes. 

RM: Did you say ass grab? As far as the pizza, Marvins got the toppings right, and it’s the best pie in town.

DP: We decided to meet there again a week later and talk band stuff. We invited Bobby Bobbi to join us, and Teazer 2000 was born right then and there, kid.

RM: It’s tough with three people though, cuz you don’t know how much pizza to order. One pie ain’t enough, and two pizzas is too much.

DP: They should name a pizza after us.

RM: Yeah, they really should. Or a salad. The Teazer Caesar.

MC: In 2016 Teazer ruled with stadium-sized anthems like “Rug on Rug,” “Demon Child,” and “Built for Filth,” are you bringing back all the classic bangers?   

DP: We’re bringing back the ones we remember. We ain’t never recorded most of the songs.

MC: What can people expect from Teazer in 2024? Are you still young enough to rock?    

RM: We already got some heavy new tunes. One of ‘em might get used on a Silver Singles commercial. 

DP: Are you calling us old? You think you’re better than me? I’ll do a spin kick right now. Best shape of my life, bro.

MC: Will there ever be a Teazer EP or even dare we say an album?

RM: Well, our old label gave us some dough, but we tore through that pretty fast, so there was nothin’ left for the studio. We tried a GoFundMe, but we got zero donations. Must’ve been broken or something.

DP: I hate recording. You gotta sing the same song over and over again, and then they hit you when you mess up. Plus, I hate listening to my own voice. It always sounds so high and whiney!

Teazer will rip it up with Gnarnia and Coma Hole at the Boiler Room at Wes’ Upstairs in PVD on May 4. wesribhouse.com

COMING ATTRACTIONS

LYLE LOVETT AND LISA LOEB

Two iconic songwriters on one bill, sharing their songs and the stories behind them, should make for one magical night. Both Loeb and Lovett continue to release compelling music even if their brushes with the pop charts are in the past. I’ve always wanted to see both Loeb and Lovett and thanks to this show I can check both boxes in one night.
Lyle Lovett and Lisa Loeb will be at The Strand on May 4. thestrandri.com

TODD RUNDGREN

Todd Rundergren has done it all in rock & roll. From releasing his solo hits like “I Saw the Light,” and “Bang the Drum All Day,” to producing seminal albums by New York Dolls, Hall & Oates, and Meat Loaf, Rundgren is a living legend. Don’t miss this chance to see him work his magic!
Todd Rundgren will be at The Strand on May 6. thestrandri.com

10 YEARS OF PVD SHANTY SING

Each month, for the past 10 years, PVD Shanty Sing has welcomed attendees of all ages to sing-along to traditional sea shanties and maritime music. As the host band, Sharks Come Cruisin’ have created a welcoming atmosphere for people of all ages, ethnicities, and singing abilities. One unique aspect of the PVD Shanty Sing is there is never a cover charge to attend. Instead, each month the organizers coordinate a collection for a local charity. Over the years, the PVD Shanty Sing has raised over $10,000.
Sharks Come Cruisin’ celebrate 10 Years of Sea Shanties at The Parlour on May 11. The all ages event runs from 6 – 9pm. theparlourri.com

FISHBONE’S ANGELO MOORE

Angelo Moore’s solo stuff is a bit more eclectic than Fishbone but in the same ballpark. Like his work in Fishbone, Moore takes punk, ska, and reggae and mashes it all up in a blender. Moore is a charismatic showman so this should be a hoot!
Angelo Moore, Neutral Nation, and NB Rude Boys will rock the Met Café on May 16. themetri.com

Email music news to mclarkin33@gmail.com