In Providence

In Providence: The Nurse

“This is the fourth place I’ve lived in six or seven years. I’m on the move a lot. When I was a kid, we moved around because my dad was in the military. It’s my personality not to– not to hang around a place for long. I’ll be honest with you– When all this started, I was mad that I ended up in Providence for it. I’ve lived in places that I thought were more, um, more interesting than this one and at first, I thought, why’d I have to get stuck somewhere like this? But then my– one of my co-workers reminded me that it wouldn’t matter where I was, because this thing is everywhere. I told her she had a point, but I still didn’t like the idea of being stuck here, and I– I came home one night after work — one of the first nights when everything was shut down — and I told myself when this was all over, it was time to pack up again, because– because I’ve been here for– for about a year now, and this was making me feel anxious again, and usually when I’m anxious, I think about moving somewhere new and giving myself a fresh start. That’s what I thought I’d do.

“I like to go out. I keep to myself, but I like being around people. Usually when I first get to somewhere, I pick out my spots — my favorite restaurant, my favorite place to grab a drink, my favorite pizza place. I had all that picked out within the first week of getting here, and I– I don’t really worry about making friends. My policy was always to make friends with other nurses and people who work at the hospital, because they get it. They understand the schedule and you see them more than anyone else. Those are my friends — the people I work with, and other than that, I don’t interact with that many people.

“When this started, and it was all about keeping your distance from people, that seemed easy to me, because I really don’t see that many people. I didn’t think it would be a problem.

“I came home quick to grab something and then I was going to head right back to work, and the lady who lives below me noticed what I had on, and– She was getting groceries out of her car, and I was walking into the apartment building, and she said hello and asked me if I was a nurse. Obviously I am, you know, I’m wearing — I had come right from work. I was a little worked up that day. It had been a long day. I said ‘Yes’ and I went in to get what I needed, and when I came out, she was gone.

“When I got home from work the next morning, I had this big plate wrapped in tinfoil in front of my door with a note. This big plate of food — cornbread. So good. The note said ‘Thank you’ and some other things — really nice. I would have gone downstairs to thank her, but I would have had to yell through the door or something, so I went inside and went to sleep, but I was going to leave a note for her when I got up.

“But then I get up, and there’s more food outside the door. She told the other neighbors I was a nurse, and now whenever I come home from work, I have food and notes from people. The guy across the hall left me a six pack — I liked that a lot.

“The other nurses I work with are getting food sent to them from people, too — their friends and people who know them and what they do. I would have never thought people would do something like that.

“It’s made me think about how I avoid getting to know people. When I would go out, I would order a drink, finish it, order another one. I come home and I have another drink and I go to sleep. I keep to myself. Growing up, I didn’t learn how to reach out to people. We took care of ourselves and we didn’t get attached, but I liked living some places and there were other places I didn’t like that much, and I– I never thought about where I was going to end up or, like, having a home.

“Now I think I might stay here when all this is done. I think I need to give it more time. And, um, when I decided that, like, that I was going to stay here, it was this big weight off my back. I really started looking forward to getting to meet all these people — the ones in my building — who have been doing all these nice things for me. I want to stick around long enough to say ‘Thank you.’”