AltFacts: To the Moon!

Former top Trump aide Rob Porter has officially retired from politics to pursue a career in boxing. In related news, his former wives have formed a band, and will soon release a greatest hits album. President Trump tweeted his support for Mr. Porter and sympathy for the tough time his former aide was going through. Ignoring any specter of domestic violence, the Orange Orangutan in the Oval Office focused on the need for due process. Innocent until proven guilty is certainly a core American value worthy of protection. But by failing to say anything against domestic violence in even a general sense, Trump most likely inspired hundreds more Democratically inclined women to run for office. We certainly hope he continues to shoot himself in the metaphorical feet with those tweet-bullets.

The Winter Olympics have begun in Seoul, with Team America attending the opening ceremony wearing giant leather gloves that conjured something between Texas-chic (a state so well known for its snow sports) and the things you use to handle radioactive material. We suspect it was a reference to the latter, given that the posturing centered on the size of their nukes continues unabated between Trump and Kim Jong-un. The ceremony also included a mystifying presentation in “virtual reality,” which seems tricky to show on TV, describing the technological marvels soon to come and featuring a surprise cameo by the National Geographic logo. In a wacky gesture of international solidarity and possible peace, the games did hit a high note by presenting a united North and South Korea team. And a funky-dancing Jamaican Bobsled team.

We wish the athletes all the luck, although the Games just haven’t been the same since I, Tonya Harding slid off the ice.

RI Rambles

We’re not sure how funny we want to be about the opiod crisis. Of course, the millions – yes millions – of American deaths that can be attributed to overdoses is pure comic gold. Heroin is particularly well known, and the biggest killer is most likely Fentanyl, having scored points for being both cheaper and more addictive. And let’s not forget Oxy, legally prescribed addiction that makes billions for the same companies that sell Narcan-based nasal sprays to treat potentially fatal overdoses. One of these firms, Purdue Pharma (nothing to do with chickens), is primarily owned by one of the wealthiest and most philanthropic families in the country – the Sacklers – who are so proud of the source of their billions, their name is obscured from most public information on Purdue Pharma. We presume it takes a tough family to make a tender painkiller addict.

The City of Providence has fully launched Safe Stations, a new program that invites anyone seeking help with addiction to come in, 24 hours a day. This is a brilliant reuse of labor – in many firehouses, there are fire fighters and EMTs who spend time on call, essentially firehouse-sitting around the clock until the big bell rings. If you feel self-conscious about asking for help, these folks are trained and sitting there anyway. Using their downtime to help with the most life-threatening aspect of current life in Providence is a great idea, and we hope word of the program spreads widely. (Which is why we’re writing about it, funny or not.) More intel at pvdsafestations.com

Maybe the Sackler family should try funding some of these programs – or just cut the poppy plants at the root, where over-prescribing can trace back to aggressive marketing and sales tactics aimed at the medical industry.

DACA at Dorcas. It feels a bit like alphabet soup, but maybe the nominal similarities were part of the inspiration behind Dorcas Place’s new walk-in program to assist any and all DACA Dreamers caught in limbo by current policies that may make health care and social support inaccessible to these children. Dorcas will help you figure out how to reregister and reapply for benefits, regardless of the shithole score of your country of origin. If you might qualify, you should act quickly to do so, as no one knows when the schizophrenic administration will change policies. Learn more at diiri.org

In other daily news, Motif was pleased to receive their copy of the Daly Greeting, the only Daly paper to come out once a year. The personal newsletter comes from the clan of recently retired Channel 12 TV political reporter Sean Daly, and reminded us that broadcast TV and RI politics miss you, Sean! (Mr. Daly now produces books featuring his stunning photographs of lighthouses from our region. You can check them out at starsandlighthouses.com.)