Chem De La Wilson (Sativa Dominant Hybrid)
Grower: Mammoth Purchased from: Mother Earth Wellness Genetics: Wilson × Chem De La Chem
Method: Live Rosin Concentrate: Dabbed using PuffCo Peak Pro.
Flower: Vaporized using Storz & Bickel MIGHTY+
Smell: Like an explosion in a 3-Michelin-star kitchen. Fermented melon, sour lemon-lime, frozen bananas, and a hint of… garlic?
Flavor: Imagine driving a turbo V8 engine through the middle of a citrus orchard. Funky, gassy, a hint of fruit, and loud enough to raise eyebrows in the next room.
Effect: Hits fast and cerebral, like going down the elevator into the Severance floor… someone just pressed the “zoom out” button on reality. Expect laser focus, then gentle elevation into “Wait, what was I doing?” territory. Fire up an open-world video game and either find yourself speed running the main storyline or just exploring the same cave for 30 minutes. Either way, you’re having a great time. The Sativaleaning genomes and terpenes really shine here. Creative, focused, calming, and not a hint of couch lock. An excellent daytime strain.
Look & Feel: Gorgeous, golden, and gooey. The kind of rosin that makes you say, “Oh damn,” out loud and then spend 10 minutes admiring it before dabbing. The flower is bright green, dense, and absolutely covered in trichomes like a beautiful New England snowfall before it gets plowed into a parking lot grey mountain.
Pairs well with: Overanalyzing cartoon plot holes and eating a Lunchable with the gravitas of a charcuterie board.
Rainbow Guava (Indica Dominant Hybrid)
Grower: CSM Gardens
Purchased from: Greenleaf Compassion Center
Genetics: Rainbow Belts × Strawberry Guava
Method: Live Rosin Concentrate: Dabbed using PuffCo Peak Pro.
Smell: Sour Patch Kids that got rained on during a hike. Sweet and zesty, with a splash of earthy funk.
Flavor: Dried apricots hanging on the beach with tropical Skittles. A very faint wisp of strawberry shows up like a La Croix. Not in the room with the strawberries, but it once heard of them. Or maybe I’m just convincing myself to justify the price tag. The earthy notes from the nose aren’t as prevalent when smoking, which is fine since it’s the tropical fruit salad that’s the attraction.
Effect: Euphoria out the gate. Uplifting and chatty. Then… boom. The couch taps you on the shoulder and says, “Your night is over.” Ideal for movie marathons and binge-watching Netflix, this strain is best enjoyed horizontal.
Look & Feel: Golden yellow with a thick, sticky, taffy-like texture that dares you to dab it without making a mess.
Pairs well with: Soft pajamas, saying “just one more episode” for the fourth time, and destroying that box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch you told yourself was “for the kids.” You’ll need to make a run to Shaws in the morning.
Purple Jellato (Sativa Dominant Hybrid)
Grower: OSCC
Purchased from: Mother Earth Wellness
Genetics: Purple Vapor × Gelato 33
Method: Live Rosin Concentrate: Dabbed using PuffCo Peak Pro.
Smell: Gelato 33 is one of my favorite strains, so my expectations were already high for this one… – and it absolutely delivered. A big nose full of funky grapes. Like an open bottle of Merlot that followed Phish on a long Summer Tour. Sweet, diesel-soaked, and deeply herbal, with a pungent Granddaddy Purple twist of spice and black peppercorn.
Flavor: Funky gym socks, baking spices, and a chewy grape skin finish that lingers on the tongue like a 25-minute Tweezer jam. In the best way possible. You’ll keep coming back for more of this complex combo of sweet grape jelly and spice rack chaos.
Effect: Immediate takeoff; you’re launched into orbit with a perma-grin. High energy, mentally dialed in, euphoric, electric, and borderline unstoppable. You’ll suddenly have the urge to clean your entire apartment and perhaps someone else’s as well, or write a screenplay about sentient grapes. (Is it the backstory of the California Raisins, or more of a multiverse kind of deal?)
Look & Feel: Fluffy, reddish-purple clay with just the right amount of bounce. Not too wet, not too dry.
Pairs well with: Getting emotionally invested in a squirrel’s journey across a power line outside your window. •
