MAGAMania!

Things feel bleak for our noble caucus. Could it be that President Trump’s boisterous brand of corruption has worn out its welcome? It doesn’t help when he’s being wrongly blamed for the botched COVID-19 response with more than 150,000 dead and millions more injured. Our Dear Leader isn’t in charge of those nasty blue states after all. Plus he faces traitors at every turn, like turncoat Republicans abandoning ship and former staffers planting lies in the press.

To be clear, we not only support the President for re-election, but we believe he is going to win bigly. Before the pandemic, Trump was a shoo-in. We are assured there are millions still who support him, a new silent majority ready to show up at the polls this November with no masks.

We owe our support to Trump for everything he has done, and for his supporters who continue to sacrifice all self respect, moral integrity and dignity.

The line between stupidity and genius is pretty thin, and we advace the argument that when Trump appears stupid or incompetent, in reality he’s smarter than everyone else.

We are offering the following message points to consider, just fill in as needed:

What [NOUN like: idiot, screwball, dumbass, dunderhead, etc) would vote for someone who is/has:

• Named Sleepy Joe vs. someone always wide awake and developing an unprecedented record of accomplishment
• A member of the most corrupt and treasonous administration in history vs. the undisputed king of corruption and treason who is brutally honest about it
• Says they will reduce corruption vs. someone who admits to bathing in said swamp
• Someone who pretends to put the public interest first vs. someone smart enough to overcharge the government he leads at his own hotels
• Hiding in his basement vs. someone actively saving the country and preventing our entire civilization from being destroyed from his own actions.
• Unable to remember the sentence he was about to say vs someone who says pure poetry like “Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV.”
• Practices cautious behavior like mask-wearing or using a solar viewer during an eclipse vs someone who looks directly at such solar events
• Owner of a dismal record vs. someone with a record that displays the horrible consequences of the unitary executive theory
• A member of a party who tells naysayers to “vote for the other guy” vs. someone whose party strongly supports him by proudly acting as criminal accomplices and death merchants.
• With close connections to executive tyrants like the Obamas vs someone who has closed connections to everyone’s favorite global strongman, Vladimir Putin.
• Someone you aren’t sure is lying vs someone who is open about lying to you

That’s it for now. Stay tuned for more next month. Remember, MAGAmania rules!!