The Day After St. Paddy’s: A Progressive Hangover Cure

There’s a reason my Irish friends want to be in the US for St. Paddy’s Day, and it’s not because we know how to keep it low-key. Parades and music, dancing and drinking; it’s an excuse to wear 50 shades of green and be fully intoxicated by 10am. And since St. Paddy’s “Day” was more of a weekend of festivities, plus or minus a couple of weekdays, I thought readers might not be ready to read my typical pub amble. So, instead, here’s a recovery guide for those who are feeling the curse of the Blarney Stone, from the least severe cases to the most. Sláinte!

Stage 1, “I want brunch!”: If you’re awake before noon, dragging your hungover, unamused friends with you to brunch, go to The Elephant Room in Pawtuxet Village. They have as many teas on their menu as a Belgian menu has beer, each listed with a description, its varietal, flavor and strength. But they also craft unique tea-infused cocktails. There are some that taste like sweet martinis and some spicy martinis, and word on the street is that they’re creating a Bloody Mary-like cocktail, made with a smoked tea called Lapsang Suchon and tomato juice. For those who must ease their way back into the world, however, there are non-alcohol-related teas that can help, from the “Brewed Awakening” caffeinated tea to the Ayurveda “Cleanse” tea, detoxing you from the inside out. Pair these with one of their AMAZING sweet or savory crepes, and life is good again.

Stage 2, “Bloody Mary. Now.”: No matter your level of intoxication, there is a Bloody Mary to suit your needs at Harry’s Burger Bar. Those who desire a well-made standard version can get The Classic, full of Worcestershire and spice. Those who feel like death can get The Bloody Mary From Hell, made with jalapeño-infused vodka. And those, like me, who are adventurous foodies, can get the Bacon Bloody, complete with bacon-infused vodka and a bacon stirrer. And if you time it just right, arriving between the hours of 3 and 5pm, you can feast on their burgers at half-price with your drink.

Stage 3, “What do you mean I haven’t gotten dressed yet?”: If you meant to hit up Harry’s Burger Bar, but missed by a few feet and happen to still be wearing pajamas, make your way into XO Café instead. Those who are dressed in pajamas for Sunday morning brunch receive a free Bloody Mary or mimosa with their meal. Be not ashamed of those Cookie Monster pants, my friends! And Dario (bartender extraordinaire from Harry’s Burger Bar) let me in on a secret hangover cure that XO offers by request only, a version of a Painkiller made with coconut water instead of cream. Delicious AND revitalizing? Yes, please.

Stage 4, “No. Alcohol. Ever. Again.”: So, you’ve reached the point of no return and are in need of serious rehab. You must go to Wildflour Vegan Bakery and grab a “Fireball” shot. Not that horrid whiskey one, but their specialty concoction of lemon juice, ginger (soothing for the stomach) and cayenne pepper, served with a large slice of cucumber as a chaser. It will, first of all, wake you up.

Next, order one of the smoothies that are chock-full of nutrients so you can start to feel human again. If the color green doesn’t nauseate you yet, try Gaia’s Green Remedy. It’s made with Spirulina, a cyanobacteria that’s packed with protein and essential amino acids, iron, calcium and chlorophyll, which — believe it or not —helps remove toxins from the blood and boosts the immune system. This smoothie also contains turmeric, known to help the liver detox, as well as ginger, cayenne, honey and several juices (pineapple, mango, orange) that will boost vitamin C and make this smoothie not taste like plant matter. I recommend taking it home and sipping it throughout the day.

Hopefully, this St. Paddy’s Day was full of luck and charm, but if you overdid it, these remedies should have you asking for another pint o’ Guinness before you know it.

Harry’s Burger Bar: 121 N. Main St (or new location 301 Atwell Ave), PVD

XO Café: 125 N. Main St, PVD

The Elephant Room: 2170 Broad St, Cranston

Wildflour Bakery: 727 East Ave, Pawtucket