Honest Abe: I cannot tell a lie
Donald Trump: I cannot tell if what I just said was a lie.
HA: I stole that line from George Washington
DT: I didn’t steal that line from Bane. Or Michelle Obama.
HA: A house divided against itself cannot stand
DT: If you have a house divided against itself, you need to demolish half the house. Then build a wall. That always helps. A HUGE wall. Well, hugish.
HA: Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.
DT: Give me power.
HA: And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.
DT: You’re only as old as the woman you feel.
HA: Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
DT: I like that. I’m going to tweet that.
HA: You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.
DT: Global warming has not been scientifically proven.
HA: America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.
DT: Man, we could use a big fat dose of global warming!
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