Motif

Author: Cathren Housley

  • Advice from the Trenches: Off Your Ass

    Advice from the Trenches: Off Your Ass

    Dear C;

    offassI’m back in school. I know this is a great opportunity and a privilege, but it’s also stressful as hell. Last semester, I felt like I lost myself while I kept up my studies and grades. I let my exercises and yoga slide. Not only that, I seemed to get sick a lot; I’d catch every cold and virus that blew through.

    How can I take better care of myself when I don’t have any time? I need to have some kind of a social life, so don’t tell me to “establish my priorities” and go to the gym instead of down to the pub. I need some help I can live with.

    Harried Harriet

    Dear Harried;

    God forbid I should suggest you establish priorities. What am I, your mother? But if you want some real help, I gotta give it to you straight: Right now, all you are doing is shooting yourself in the foot. If you keep it up, you may not make it through the next semester.

    Sacrificing exercise in hopes of making better grades is a bone head idea. Research shows that when people stop moving, their brains get sluggish too. Recent studies by an international team of scientists found that, while physical activities can take students away from school work, this time out is a valid investment to improve academic performance. A single session of moderate-intensity exercise can improve grade performance, brain function and cognitive reasoning. In fact, a study by the American College of Sports Medicine found that college students who regularly participated in vigorous physical activity consistently had higher GPA’s (grade point averages) than their more comatose counterparts — 3.5 compared to 3.0. That’s a pretty significant difference.

    You also mentioned that your health seemed to suffer. Students are famous for infecting each other through sheer propinquity. If a bug is going around, you’d better have a strong immune system or you are like a piece of walking Velcro to which every floating virus and bacteria will attach. Chosun University in South Korea recently conducted a research series that showed that long-term, regular exercise considerably improved the immune defense mechanism against infections such as colds and the flu.

    I’m guessing that you chain yourself to a chair while you study. This is probably the direct cause of your repeated illnesses last semester. And this effect goes further than short term; even if you exercise a few days a week, if you spend six or more hours a day in a chair (and this is amazingly easy to do) you are far more likely to develop high blood pressure, heart disease, cancer, and diabetes as you age. Get out of the freakin’ chair! Hemingway typed all his books standing at a bureau because furniture makers hadn’t heard of ergonomics at the time. These days, it is easy to elevate a work station; there’s a ton of options on the internet. I use an old fruit crate to raise my own computer so I can work standing up.

    If you want to get some exercise AND you want to hang out with your friends, there’s no reason that you can’t accomplish both goals at once. Correct me if I’m wrong, but “the pub” sounds like a place where you sit on your ass and drink. If the idea is to have fun, you’ll probably have a whole lot more fun if you go out dancing instead of flattening your butt on a bar stool. If you try grooving at the pub, in about 60 seconds someone will be bitching, “Hey, siddown! We’re trying to watch the game!” I suggest a gay bar. Things may have changed, but in my day, they always had the best music AND ventilated dance floors. Or go on a walking tour of the city while drinking out of a brown paper bag (did I just say that?). It’s a helluva lot cheaper.

    If your friends just aren’t into it, that doesn’t mean that you have to be a slack head.Your school probably has work-out equipment available. Take a book and get some of your reading done on the treadmill or stationary cycle before you head out for a night with your pals. Trust me, you probably spend that same 25 minutes playing video games or scrolling through social media without even realizing it. Just do it at the gym instead of the student lounge or your dorm room.

    Exercise is also a remarkably effective anti-depressant and helps to alleviate anxiety. Considering the stress that you are going through, putting exercise on the back burner in hopes of winning the paper chase is probably the worst thing you can do. It just turns you into a sick rat on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

    You wanted some help you could live with. Now you’ve got it. If you were hoping there was a comfortable, pub-friendly solution, there just isn’t. I’m not saying that it’s easy … but if you opt to simply grit your teeth and soldier on, you are far more likely to find yourself in the infirmary than at the head of the class. Get moving!

  • First Day Blues

    First Day Blues

    school“Well, I’ve been afraid of changing, ‘cause I built my life around you.” -Stevie Nicks

    There are many “first days” that come in September. Students are heading back to school, recent grads are (hopefully!) starting new jobs … and for many of you stay-at-home moms (and dads) this is the moment you have dreamed of since the sleep-deprived early years of baby-drool: It’s the first day of kindergarten! You’ve probably envisioned those hours of freedom, the quiet that finally settles into the house. And then suddenly, in the middle of that deafening silence, it starts: dem old kozmic blues.

    That sinking sense of depression can seep into the aftermath of any much-anticipated event, even nailing an all-important interview or marrying the mate of your dreams. When it actually happens, you don’t always feel the way you thought you would. There’s a bit of a let-down. And it just doesn’t seem to make sense.

    Actually, it makes perfect sense. For every plus, there is always some minus. In the case of marriage or a job, for all you’ve gained, you’ve also lost your unfettered youthful freedom. And for parents who feel sad — your child may have sometimes been an energy-sucking brat, but that tiny tot was also your constant companion and often closest friend. The routine of daily care and entertainment was the center of your life. You laughed, you cried, you played both disciplinarian and dancing fool. You were part of life. You mattered. And now the center of your life is off somewhere in a far-way school, and in its place is an empty, aching hole.

    Be patient. Be kind to yourself. Don’t use this as an excuse to drink. That hole will eventually fill with something new. Whatever that is, it’s all up to you. It may have been quite a while since this was true.

    Sending a child off to the first day of school gives you the time to think. If you’ve been catering to your toddler’s nonstop needs for a long, long time, you probably put many other things on hold. Not only cleaning the closet but your whole personal life, from fitness to career, may have been relegated to the back burner until “Kimmy goes to school.”

    Okay — Kimmy’s gone to school. And as you sit in the deafening silence, something brushes by your face. Wasn’t that a page from the book you were going to write? The application form for a class you were going to take, or the gym you were going to join? One by one, bits and feathers of stored thoughts break free and circle you like a whirlwind. The possibilities seem endless. You don’t even know where to begin.

    And that whirlwind aside, there may also be parental uncertainty nagging at you. Will your child adjust to school? Are they safe? Will they stumble and learn … or stumble and fall? And then another thought occurs — crap! Now there is a school schedule you’ll have to work around and meetings you’ll have to attend. Unlimited freedom has suddenly contracted into a flat circle the size of a clock. It ticks loudly as you sit and ponder your changing life.

    Is it any wonder that you feel depressed? Don’t worry, this is a natural state. It will soon change, as everything in life does. That depression will lift faster if you take account of that stuff you’ve been putting off. You are the only one who can make it happen. As Ms. Nicks says, “Time makes us bolder.” So, as your children get older, start making a new plan.Your life changed when you had a baby. Now it’s time for life to change again.

    Human beings aren’t comfortable with change. When the structure of our world shifts and moves, there is period where we feel a bit lost, like we are falling off of a cliff backward, but never hitting ground.

    Just wait. You will land. In the meantime, relax and take a much-needed deep breath. You will need all of your energy for the work before you.

    I’d will leave you with the immortal words of Dr. Seuss: “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…”

    And as always — please choose wisely.

  • Advice from the Trenches: Can I Trust My Instincts?

    Advice from the Trenches: Can I Trust My Instincts?

    datingDear C;

    I’ve made some bad choices when it comes to men. I know that it probably has something to do with the fact that my dad was an alcoholic, but that doesn’t really help. The thing is, these guys always seem great at first; they have interesting ideas and are a lot of fun. Then after a while, the problems start.

    I’m drawn to men by instinct — I like something about them. How am I supposed to know that the guy is going to change? It just happens! So what do I do? Ignore the guys I’m attracted to and wait for someone I have no interest in to approach me? What do I do if I can’t trust my natural instincts?

    Door Number Three

    Dear Door;

    Instincts aren’t just something “natural” you are born with. They are also something you develop through experience and awareness. If your present instincts are leading you to losers, you need to become more aware. What exactly are these problems that always start? They don’t just appear out of thin air. I’m guessing that there are many signs you are missing because you are acting on impulse, not instinct. Try using your head next time!

    These men you are attracted to may not look the same or like the same music, but they probably all have personality traits in common. When you first meet someone, you can’t always know if they pay their bills on time, are habitually late or if every word that comes out of their mouth is a bald-faced lie. This is something you only figure out with time. So keep your eyes open and watch for clues. Here are a few tips.

    * Every man is on his best behavior when he’s on the hunt. You can’t necessarily gauge his sincerity or judge anything about his normal habits from the kind of treatment you will get while he’s trying to talk you into bed. A guy will change his sheets, get the expensive wine and flatter the hell out of you when he’s making his moves. The way he treats you afterward is a lot more telling.

    * Heterosexual men aren’t generally as emotional as women until they get comfortable. If a guy confides his deepest thoughts and secrets to you on a first date, it’s a good guess that he does this with everyone. Either it’s a tactic to make you think he’s sensitive or he’s a drama queen. Do you really need either?

    * Is he willing to be seen in public with you and introduce you to his friends? Does he HAVE friends? Anyone who isn’t normally socialized is more likely to have unrealistic expectations of a relationship, or to look for a co-dependent relationship. Does the guy say he wants you all to himself? This isn’t flattering — it’s unhealthy. Are the two of you going to spend the rest of your lives in a locked room?

    * Does the guy talk about past relationships and blame everything on the other person? Are all of his exes “crazy?” This says more about him than it does about the exes. After all, he’s the one who keeps picking them.

    * Are there things about him that tweak your alarms, but you explain them away or fluff them over because you want things to work out and think he’ll change in time? The best advice I ever heard from a couples counselor was, “Don’t ever get involved with someone expecting them to change.” People don’t change. If he’s stimulating, but flakey, funny, but volitile, and hot, but flighty, he is always going to be flakey, volitile and flighty. After a while the stimulating humor is going to get on your nerves, and his good looks are just going to make you cringe every time he flirts with a waitress. No one changes unless they REALLY want to. And even then, it requires persistent, exhaustive effort to change the habits of a lifetime. Don’t take a guy on as a project, thinking you can fix him. That’s probably what your mom did.

    If you can’t trust your current instincts, maybe for now you can trust this: Increased awareness will hone your instincts until you get to a point where you CAN trust them. Until then, keep a note pad on hand and keep your eyes open. The clues are always there.

  • Athletics and Genetics

    Athletics and Genetics

    In 2011, an impressive array of scientists and PhDs from around the world published their findings on the relationship of genetics to human performance. Their conclusion? If you want your kids to be great athletes, you’d better marry a great athlete.

    We would like to think that hard work and the right coach can compensate for a lack of natural ability, but in terms of physical capacity, the deck is stacked. In fact, genetics are the number one determinant in sports ability. Researchers speculate that genetic factors determine 20% to 80% of the traits relevant to athletic performance. Oxygen uptake, cardiac capacity and the proportion of fast and slow fibers in skeletal muscle are all determined by DNA. Some people can just train longer, run faster and don’t break as easily as the rest of us. Genes even account for interest in training. In other words, your willingness to practice in sports may be genetically proportional to your innate ability for sports. Since experts agree that targeted early training makes all the difference, this is a deal breaker. If you have natural ability but don’t do anything with it except watch football, by the time you are old enough to vote, you’re already over the hill.

    But is athletic ability everything? No — the benefits of sports go beyond winning or losing. Sports keep kids out of trouble. A kid who has someplace to go and has something to do is far less likely to be hanging out on the street looking for distractions. When kids are taught the basic skills of sports, they pick up other important lessons as well. They learn discipline, teamwork and self-respect. They are supervised by coaches. The more unsupervised free time a teen has, the more likely he or she is to embark on activities of juvenile delinquency. The structure and social interaction that take place in sports are good practice for skills that will be needed through life. Athletes are also less likely to smoke or engage in recreational drugs.

    So do elite performers lead charmed lives? Are they immune from the woes that we lowly mortals face? Surprisingly, in some ways, they are even more vulnerable than the rest of us.

    Those with above average athletic ability are more prone to substance abuse, eating disorders and suicide than the rest of us couch potatoes.The highest incidence of anorexia, worldwide, is among elite athletes in judged competitions. Female athletes in aesthetic sports (eg, gymnastics, ballet, figure skating) were found to be at most risk; a full 20% of them suffered from eating disorders, compared to an estimated 0.5 to 3.7% of women in the general population.

    It seems that the expectation of perfection and achievement can generate considerable anxiety in those who are placed upon those pedestals, which brings us to another type of drug dependence: steroid abuse.

    When Lance Armstrong was stripped of seven Tour de France titles and banned from racing for life, the eyes of the world became focused on substance abuse in athletics. Unfortunately, this was scarcely the first time that a top athlete was found guilty of drug enhancement to achieve success in sports. The list is in the hundreds, and it is really not surprising. Nearly the entire Russian team was banned from this year’s Olympics for doping. When the fans, the backers and the sponsors are riding on your every move, the pressure is not just for personal glory. It’s your freakin’ JOB to win.

    Ironically, the risk of substance abuse is even greater after athletes pass their peak and retire from the pressure of competition. Why? Apparently, intense exercise is as addictive as heroin. This puts inactive top-level athletes in a state similar to withdrawal and at risk for depression. A Melbourne study concluded that one-third of elite athletes have unhealthy training fixations. Retired athletes, metaphorically speaking, can be like crackheads cut off from their crystal. The biological mechanisms of exercise dependence fully mimic those involved in drug addiction.

    How will the gift of above innate athletic ability develop as a child grows? To be honest, it’s a crap shoot. There are many other aspects of personality, opportunity, financial means and personal support that can affect the outcome. As with most other aspects of humans, above average sports ability can be a double-edged sword. How the holder wields it is going to depend on more than innate talent.

    Those who are gifted would do well to use those gifts wisely.

  • Home Hell?

    Home Hell?

    homerFor anyone who has to punch a time clock and spend the day under florescent lighting, the idea of working from home may seem like heaven. But this topic has stirred up a lot of controversy; it might be a case of “be careful what you ask for.” Those who have actually made this migration have differing opinions.

    After viewing evidence from all sides, I have come to this conclusion: Working at home is an experience unique to every individual. Success or failure depends on two distinct factors: 1) your personal temperament and 2) your home environment.

    First, what kind of person are you? Do you have problems keeping boundaries? If so, you may have problems. A recent study on telecommunication workers at a large company showed that working from home increased mental and physical fatigue for those who were already having problems balancing work and family. When you are home, everyone seems to assume you are available. If you can’t say no, this is a brain draining juggle.

    Do you have a difficult time maintaining self-discipline? If so, you may do better to remain in a setting where someone else is helping to set goals and keep track of time. If left to your own devices, you are more likely to spend an entire morning glued to your Xbox.

    If you are a responsible adult who is good at maintaining boundaries and capable of managing your own time, you are probably capable of managing a home office pretty well, unless…

    This brings us to the second factor: What kind of environment is your home? Do you live in a small apartment with a stay-at-home roommate and three screeching cats? Do you have a partner, a baby and two toddlers running amok? If so, working from home could turn into a nightmare no matter what your temperament. Conversely, if you have tons of space, peace and quiet, working from home could result in the loss of your job if you are a space cadet by nature.

    There’s no cut and dried answer to whether working from home can work for you, but here are some tips that can make it more likely to succeed.

    Don’t get emotional and shriek like a banshee if everyone is interrupting you. Use common sense; it’s a lot more effective. The people around you take their cues from you. If you set no boundaries and lay down no rules, it is natural for others to assume you don’t have any. I suggest posting your office hours on the nearest doorway, and, in big bold letters: THE OFFICE IS OPEN. Make sure that the rules of operation are clearly defined so that you don’t have to constantly explain them. And keep these rules yourself! Do not wander into the kitchen and begin putting away the dishes when the office is clearly OPEN. It sends the wrong message to everyone else.

    Make a schedule! An office manager does this, now it’s your job. Post goals and mark them off when you accomplish them. Start every day knowing what you hope to accomplish and when. If you don’t keep track, no one else will.

    Establish a regular exercise program as part of your regime.This is something that everyone who sits in a chair should do, no matter what their age or weight. The biggest advantage of working at home is that if you want to work out in the afternoon and then get back to work after dinner, you can. A home office is not a 9 to 5 cage. And if you happen to be home alone, don’t turn the situation into a different kind of cage by falling into an anti-social slump. One of the biggest problems faced by people who work in isolation is depression. Regular physical activity is as good a preventative as pharmaceuticals.

    One last thing — keep your personal phone separate from your professional line. Don’t pick up when you are working.You can’t answer it. You’re at work.

    So, should you work out of your home or stay at the office? You need to take an honest look at your life in order to find the answer. For some, getting away to a separate work environment is a blessing. They need distance from family, or to be part of a work community, in order to do their best. For others, being at home, and just knowing loved ones are near, is an important comfort that makes all else worthwhile.

    We can all find ways to better craft our own lives. The choice is ours. Let’s choose wisely.

  • Advice from the Trenches: Beating the Odds

    Advice from the Trenches: Beating the Odds

    happy manDear C,

    I caught my partner masturbating in the middle of the night when I got up to use the bathroom. HE says he read online that it was good for his health and “keeps him young” if he does it daily. I am not sure how I feel about it. I certainly don’t want to have sex with him every day! In fact, once a week is really more than enough now that I’m working full time.

    I can’t help wondering — is it true that it is good for his health? Or is there something wrong here?

    Concerned

    Dear Concerned,

    First, let me reassure you. Married men masturbate. Men are capable of having more orgasms than you can ever imagine. It is not unknown for men to feel the need three times a day … and the rate at which teen boys can get it up is somewhat awe inspiring.

    However, let’s consider the “daily dose” idea. Yup, there is strong evidence that an orgasm a day supports prostate health. Orgasm has also been shown to help alleviate depression and anxiety, and improve overall immune functioning. But exactly how many orgasms are we talking about?

    The jury is out on whether a lot of orgasms are good for you. I sense that it is a highly subjective, and age-related, matter. The fact is, many men reported having more energy overall when they reduced their weekly ration of Os. The head of the national soccer team in Brazil routinely bans sex before the World Cup competitions. In fact, it has been routine practice to caution athletes from engaging in sexual intimacy before events since the first Olympics back in 444 BC. But is such an extreme measure either advantageous or necessary? Some scientists suggest that abstinence could help some athletes concentrate better. However, scientists also dismiss the idea that sex the night before competition has a tiring effect on an athlete or weakens muscles. The punch line? I’d say that it’s pretty much up to the individual to decide which scientists’ theories they like better. After all, science has been known to change its mind about many things, including the idea that the earth is flat.

    A better question here is why does your partner feel the need to hide his extracurricular activities from you? Do the two of you come from a religious background that prohibitions masturbation or threatens followers with dire predictions of premature blindness? Do you have a dim view of masturbation yourself? The practice is far more admitted to these days, but there are still quite a few women who are squeamish about it.

    I think it’s good that this issue is out in the open. It might be the right time for you and your partner to see if you can take your sex life to a more adventurous level. Few relationships include daily sex, but having an appreciation of each other’s masturbation preferences can open up possibilities that can be quite intriguing. One of the reasons that lesbians have better female O technique is that they are so familiar with it themselves. How much does your partner really know about what takes you to the limit? And what do you know about him?

    Quite honestly, my only concern here is the timing. There’s nothing abnormal about pumping iron at night, but if it is going on at 3 in the morning, I gotta wonder what else is keeping the guy up (no pun intended). It wouldn’t hurt to ask.

    In summary: the list of benefits that orgasm can produce is pretty impressive. In addition to the stuff already mentioned, orgasms improve circulation, increase fertility in women, promote healthy hormone levels and spike DHEA levels to improve brain function and promote clear skin. They can even help cure migraines. And here’s an encouraging thought: If your partner is masturbating at home, he’s probably not having an affair. If you can’t imagine having sex more than once a week, I would not mess with the guy’s current methods.

  • Advice from the Trenches: Out of Time

    Advice from the Trenches: Out of Time

    notimeDear C;

    I work days, from about 8:30 in the morning until 6 at night. My boyfriend doesn’t have to get to his job until mid afternoon so he gets up late and then doesn’t get home until after 10pm. It’s really becoming a problem because we hardly ever see each other. We got a cat a month ago and the cat gets more time with each of us than we do with each other!

    I have been staying up way later than I’d like to, just so I can hang out with him for at least a little while. But I’m getting sleep deprived and starting to feel exhausted. I think things could get off track between us if we don’t figure something out. Got any ideas?

    BTW — a lack of time seems to be the biggest problem we have; other than that, we get along great.

    Frazzled

    Dear Frazzled;

    Problems are the litmus test of every relationship. Most couples get along great when everything is fine and the living is easy. But when a problem comes along, you really start to see what you, and that other person, is made of. Can the two of you work together to find a solution? Or does dealing with a conflict just push you apart? If this is a serious relationship and you have plans for the future, this is a good opportunity to test the waters; in life, you will always have problems.

    Lack of time can just plain wear out the best of us. My son told me that when he was in law school, every student he knew who was in a relationship ended up getting divorced or breaking up, mostly because they couldn’t pay any attention to their partners; university gave them too much work. And just imagine what the addition of a baby, a major illness or financial catastrophe could do! This is good practice.

    Now for some practical pointers. The number one rule of solving problems in any partnership is this: Don’t approach it from an emotional angle. The person who whines the most and can act the neediest does not deserve to win. If more couples ran their relationships like they’d run a business, there’d be far fewer divorces. You need to use both common sense and consideration. First, make sure you are on the same page. Do you both agree as to what the problem is? Do you both want to solve it? Good. Now start negotiating.

    First question: Is this time crunch situation temporary? Or is it for the long haul? Sometimes, jobs are negotiable and can be changed without sacrificing goals. A time crunch might simply be a rough patch you are both passing through on your way to your real careers. But if this situation is permanent, ask yourself if you really want live with it. Many doctor’s partners don’t see their significant others for years on end because that’s the kind of time such a career demands. Same for truckers who drive long distance for a living. If you want a relationship with more sharing and togetherness, this question really matters.

    Next, some practical considerations. Do the math, same as if you were an administrator planning office schedules. Who has the most flexibility? Are you both willing to negotiate? And do you want to do the same things in your down time or do you want to sit and watch a movie while he wants to go out dancing? It’s important to plan stuff you both enjoy in those moments of togetherness.

    Let’s face it: Having everything you want, whenever you want it, is NOT the best way to learn and grow in a relationship. Dealing with difficulty teaches you a lot more. Real life throws a lot of crap at couples; if you are not of the same mind about where you want this relationship to go, it will become apparent. Sometimes one partner starts to realize that the person in the bed next to them is going to get cranky and selfish whenever a situation calls for compromise. And sometimes two partners realize they will both do anything they can to work out problems and stay together. The thing is, you never know what is going to happen until you start trying.

    Do you two have what it takes for the long run?

    I think you are about to find out.

  • Alt-Health: A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

    Alt-Health: A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

    tylenolI got my first lesson about the dangers of acetaminophen back in 1980, from a physician specializing in sports injuries. Like many other broke students in the 1980s, I did housework in exchange for a room in a private home. This one just happened to be owned by a doctor and his family. His attitude toward these supposedly harmless pills, more commonly known as Tylenol, was surprising: He refused to let the medicine into his own house and would not prescribe it for any patients. “People have no idea how much damage they can do to themselves with this stuff!” That was the first time I had heard any such warnings. Since then, I have heard a lot more.

    For years, acetaminophen has been sold to us as the safest pain reliever on the market. However, if you read the information given out by the companies that manufacture the drug, they will admit that in large doses it can be damaging, even fatal. Major studies beginning back in 1994 found that heavy use of Tylenol and other brands of acetaminophen to relieve pain might be the cause of about 5,000 cases of liver failure in the United States each year. In a second study, it was discovered that taking even moderate amounts after fasting could damage the liver. Researchers also found that excessive use of acetaminophen can easily lead to liver damage in people who chronically use alcohol. Alcohol is known to change the way the body metabolizes acetaminophen, and is itself toxic to the liver.

    Johnson and Johnson, the parent company for the drug, called all of this news a pointless witch hunt that would frighten the public into taking other pain relievers that were even more dangerous. They down-played the dangers by emphasizing that in prescribed doses, acetaminophen is by far the gentlest choice. Unfortunately, they did not warn just how easy it can be to take up to four times the safe limit without even realizing it. At the time, a dangerous trend was beginning to build: Tylenol was becoming an invasive substance that lurked in places you’d never expect.

    Acetaminophen is now an added ingredient in literally hundreds of over-the-counter and prescription drugs. Benadryl, Dayquil, Dristan, Midol, Cepacol, Feveral, Nyquil and Vicks Formula 44 are just a few. Even opioid-type prescription pain killers such as Vicodin are laced with the stuff. If you don’t look, you don’t know and a study in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine found that very few Americans (less than 50%) actually read the labels on over-the-counter medicines. This lack of consumer awareness is responsible for a disturbing fact: Acetaminophen overdose is now the number one cause of liver failure in the United States. The number of cases continue to rise each year.

    The dosage limit has recently been lowered by manufacturers to 3,000 mg per day for adults. For children, no more than 420 mg are recommended and for babies, even this much can be a fatal overdose. A single Extra Strength Tylenol contains 500 mg of acetaminophen.

    And there is an additional risk factor for overdose in children. The acetaminophen that is made for kids comes in delicious candy flavors. Children who get their hands on a bottle will drink it like syrup or soda and take in a toxic overdose without any idea of what they are doing. Parents who don’t know what their kids have gotten into may not recognize signs of liver damage until it is too late.

    Just this week, more possible dangers surfaced. A study of mothers and children in Spain found that boys exposed before birth to acetaminophen were more likely to have symptoms of autism during childhood. Although not conclusive, this study is just one of many to suggest that acetaminophen, widely prescribed to pregnant women, may impact brain development and behavior in children exposed in the womb.

    Is acetaminophen safer than aspirin, ibuprofen and other pain relievers? In safe doses, maybe yes, maybe no. Is it known to be dangerous and even fatal in large doses? Definitely YES. Is the average consumer made aware of its prevalence in multiple medications? No.

    If you want to protect yourself, learn the facts. Then you decide. And as always, please choose wisely.

  • Advice from the Trenches: Winning

    Dear C;

    My roommate Josey is driving me nuts. Josey is funny and can also very generous and kind hearted, but she sometimes has these totally irrational responses to little goof-ups or unexpected accidents that can make her really unpleasant to be around.

    An example: A couple of weeks ago, we were in the kitchen and she accidentally knocked over a bottle of oil. The cap wasn’t on all the way, so some oil spread out on the counter. No big deal, right? Set it back, wipe the oil up, get on with your life, right? Nope. First Josey had to find someone else to BLAME. Of course, that person was me. She yelled at me and told me I should have tightened the cap properly. I protested and pointed out that she was the one who knocked the bottle over, not me. This was entirely beside the point to Josey. “If the cap had been properly tightened, it wouldn’t have spilled!!” she shouted. The more I objected to being blamed for something I didn’t do, the angrier and nastier she got. When I asked her, in a deliberately calm voice, to please try to use a neutral tone of voice so we could have a reasonable discussion, she said I was being nasty and controlling in my own way. I didn’t indulge my own anger and kept speaking with deliberate calm, but Josey just shouted, “We’re done here!” and tried to walk off. It was obvious that this was hardly a resolved situation, so I kept trying to reason with her, but all she’d say was “I’m done, you just keep it going, that’s what you’re good at: nagging.”

    I got so mad at her that I vowed to get her out of the apartment, ASAP. After a day of ignoring each other, she eased back into being so reasonable and considerate that I feel like maybe she just couldn’t admit it but she did realize she was wrong. We had a couple of weeks where we hung out and dealt with everyday stuff together. We helped each other with favors and I realized what a great roommate she could be.

    Then yesterday, out of the blue, we had the same kind of stupid, blaming fight all over again. How can I make her see reason and work this problem out?

    BFFled

    Dear BFFled;

    You can’t, until you realize you are part of the problem.

    My reaction to your anger and persistence in defending yourself is pretty much the same as your reaction to Josey and the spilled oil. What’s the big deal? Let it go, get on with your life. Sure, Josey jumping on you and getting nasty wasn’t right, but she’s right about one thing — if the cap had been tightened all the way, the oil wouldn’t have spilled. If you had just shrugged your shoulders and said, “Yeah, maybe. Here, you want a cloth?” and helped her clean it up while she sputtered a little, the situation wouldn’t have gotten ugly. It would be just another little goof-up. No big deal.

    It takes two people to work out a problem and it also takes two people to keep it going. Right now, you and Josey are playing a game called “You’re Wrong, I’m Right.” She wants to win, and you want to win … but this is not the kind of game that anyone can win. Not having the fight would be the real victory.

    Look, in real life, sometimes people have tough days and get short tempered, and we aren’t always angels. I suspect you are not consistently Mother Teresa yourself. If all of us gave each other a little slack instead of trying to PROVE OUR POINT, there’d be a lot less fighting in the world.

    The next time something like this happens, ask yourself a question: Do you really want to solve the problem, or do you just want to be right? If keeping an otherwise great roommate is more important than being right, I think you can figure this out.

  • Alt-Health: Guns — A Public Health Crisis

    Alt-Health: Guns — A Public Health Crisis

    gunownerThe American Public Health Association (APHA) has long recognized that guns are not just a political or civil rights issue; they are a public health issue. There is more gun violence in the US than in any other country in the world. According to a comparison between comparable nations done by the APHA, 80% of all firearm deaths occur in the US, along with 87% of ALL deaths by firearm of children ages 0 to 14.

    We’ve all heard the news about Orlando, and the subsequent rejection by the Senate of any new steps toward stricter gun control. In the past, such resistance by gun advocates has resulted in a quick retreat. But debate over guns has become so incendiary that scores of Democrats in the House of Representatives staged a “sit-down” on the House floor on June 22 protesting procrastination by the GOP leadership. Republicans recessed the House, turning off the media feed to the public, but Democrats defiantly streamed the protest on their cell phones and C-SPAN broadcast the entire circus, which continued for nearly 26 hours. It was a clear message from gun control advocates: “We are mad as hell and we are not going to take it anymore!”

    And for good reason.

    On local news, between 6/21 and 6/24, four separate shootings were reported in Pawtucket, along with a home invasion in which the felon managed to steal not just family valuables, but also the family gun, bought to protect the house against just such an incident.

    Local gun shop owners reported that their sales have gone through the roof since the Orlando shootings. Some were generated by a desire for self-protection, but many new buyers wanted to get their guns NOW, out of fear that stricter laws might block them from ownership in the future.

    This reveals a sad truth. The entire gun epidemic is being generated by nothing but fear — of invasions, attacks and foreign terrorists. Ironically, what we now have to fear the most is each other. This is a country rife with opioid addiction, economic despair and paranoia. These are not citizens who are making clear, rational decisions.

    Before we talk about the right to bear arms, we have GOT to ask whose hands those arms will be attached to. When progun advocates state their case, they are glossing over one very important fact: Even sane, intelligent people can be idiots. And if those people get angry, or suffer from psychological problems, ANYONE who owns a gun can be dangerous. Take a look at these statistics published by the The American Public Health Association:

    A gun in the home makes it three times more likely that a homicide will occur and makes suicide up to five times as likely. The risk of accidental death is also four times higher in homes with guns.

    In cases of domestic violence, access to firearms increases the risk of homicide more than five times. Abusive partners who own guns tend to inflict the most severe damage on their partners.

    A typical argument for gun ownership I’ve heard is: “If some guy in that Orlando nightclub had had a gun, he could have taken down the attacker and saved lives.”

    This is an optimistic theory, but it is not grounded in any reality. Unless they have had military level field training, the average citizen with a gun doesn’t have any idea how to handle a crisis situation. During 14 years of teaching and training in a dojo, I witnessed firsthand, over and over, what happens to students in an exercise called Jiyu Waza, wherein they are suddenly blind sided without warning. Their first time out, EVERYONE, to a man, freaks, flails and gets flattened. They may have trained in class for two years, they may have the techniques down cold. But they do not understand the physical effect of uncontrolled adrenaline or what will happen to their mind and body when they are startled by an attacker who has a plan and is pushing forward with terrorist speed. It takes an enormous amount of training to keep your cool under such circumstances.

    Today, gun control lobbyists keen on protecting second amendment rights refuse to ban even known suspects on the federal terrorist watch list from buying guns, because they feel it opens the door to restricting the rights of ALL citizens. I would like to point out that there is a “private sales loophole” in that amendment that allows the sale of guns without a background check at gun shows and through other venues such as online marketplaces. This means that even known criminals can have access to guns if they know the right place to buy. Leaving such an open-ended possibility does not protect the rights of honest citizens to own guns. It protects the rights of potential killers who could not pass a reasonable security check.

    Enough. Please. Enough.