Comedy

Crowdsourced Valentine’s Day Ideas: We asked the Hive Mind and Dating in RI what their VDay plans were, and shared our thoughts too…

Instead of leaving our Valentine’s Day plans in the hands of advertisers, promoters, and self-serving bloggers, we thought to ask you, dear readers and social media followers, what it is you’d be doing on the 14th if you didn’t have a partner. The results were not disappointing, so we at Motif figured we’d spread the love: 

“I’ll be on a solo trip to Disney World. Not because it’s Valentine’s Day, but the fact that it is didn’t factor into my decision-making process either way.” 
We hear Mickey’s been single ever since that thing with Minnie and Felix the Cat… 

“My friend and I are going to Gregg’s to take advantage of their Valentine’s Day specials! We went last year and really leaned into the cheesy nature of the holiday.”
Are you over 70?

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“Crying and downing a bottle of wine.”
As long as it’s in that order.

“Fuuuuuucking.”
Niiiiiiiiiiiiice.

“Buying myself a new toothbrush.”
Sanitary. We hope that’s a kind of foreplay for you! Buy two!

“Take-out and bad TV.”
Good take out?

“I haven’t had a SO on Valentine’s Day in years so idk outside of that”
Courage! Somewhere, there’s an SO who hasn’t had you on VDay. 

“Probably the same thing I did last year… Taking myself out for a steak and salad alone.”
As long as the steak has salad with it, they’re never really alone…

“Cook myself a full course meal, then buy discount v-day candy the next day.”
Yes! Although, the Christmas candy is on discount now!

“Wine and cookies.”
Do you dip the cookies?

“Getting back from my Bahamas vacation for my birthday. VDay is my birthday.”
Is your name Cupid?

“PlantCity and Veg Fest for Galentines!”
Extra eggplant at least, we hope?

“Myself probably.”
Well played!

“Since the end of a long term relationship in 2017, I’ve donated to my fave wolf sanctuary on Valentine’s Day.”
This feels like a metaphor.

“I vote second Halloween!!”
Yes! I call the one in the slutty nurse outfit.

“It’s a Monday so probably work, dinner, lay on the couch pantless watching TV.”
Well, at least there’s a pantless part.

“My tradition is to gather up some babies, give them little bows and arrows and throw them out the window to see which ones fly. I give them a little time with the bows first, just to see if they can hit anything.”
So wrong.

“I like to print out photos of my exes and take them to some place like Dart City or the Axe Bar, where they let you attach them to the targets and throw things at them. Turns out doing that to the real thing can get you arrested, but with print outs it’s ok.”
We are glad we don’t have to inform SWAT.

“My VDay tradition is to get some high quality construction paper and cut out heart shapes. I write the name of anyone I need to release from my thoughts, and make a nice little fire to warm the mid-February air.”
I can’t figure out if this is really evolved or really scary.