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Founders Lands in RI, Finally

There’s only a few perfect times in one’s life that one can intentionally utter specific sentences in a misleading way and it totally works. For me, one of those times is now: My Wailing Wench is back!
Oh how I did miss the Wailing Wench, the Beast Bitter, Wizard’s Winter, and the Dragonslayer Stout! For those of you too young to remember, or for those of you who don’t drink good beer and probably don’t read this article, Middle Ages brewing once graced our state with these delicious brews. It was a golden age, a Renaissance if you will. (See what I did there?) Also among our shelves were the Three Floyds, Dogfish Head, and others that have since evaporated from RI’s selection. I miss them all, but thanks to some visionary beer distributors, these great brews are slowly trickling back to the relief and joy of the craft beer drinking masses.
But Lo and Behold, the Middle Ages have returned with their blacksmiths, black knights, and black plagues. Actually, they’re back with a line of delicious brews that many of us have been deprived of. The Wailing Wench in particular, with her wonderful illustrated cleavage, greets us with her screaming hops as we dive headlong towards her bountiful bosom of malty goodness, what was I talking about?
How does it taste, you ask? The Wailing Wench is a delicious brew with a bouquet of hop flavors and a sweet body. Insert joke about well-endowed female on label here. No, I’m not lazy. I’ve just done the joke so many times it’s hard to come up with a new twist, unlike the creative twists I could explore with a well-endowed… nevermind. The brew explodes pine and floral notes onto your tongue. I’ve missed this brew oh so much since its departure. Call me clingy, but I never want it to leave again. Though, at 8%, it might be a toxic relationship.

Grand Founders

Also rolling in on the same train is Founders Brewing from Grand Rapids Michigan. Founders is new to Rhode Island, as far as I know, unless I’m too young to remember, which would be frightening to both me and my parents. Their lineup includes titles such as Red’s Rye IPA, Centennial IPA, and their seasonal, the Double Trouble. I hemmed and hawed about my decision but finally decided on the Rye, what with Rye being a running trend these days.
Red’s Rye IPA is another example of a good floral-like IPA that blends with the crisp flavors of rye to create a satisfying and crisp little brew. Now, I’m one to normally shun and shy away from trends, I refer to my rant against White IPA’s last month. But Rye beers and IPA hop profiles seem to have created that perfect blend for a spring or summer beer. It boasts 70 IBUs, and you can taste and smell that right off the bat, then the malty, crisp rye-ness comes in to finish the job and at 6.6%, a few of them might finish you off, too. Founders is a legendary name in craft beer. Between Middle Ages and Founders, who knows, maybe soon the beautiful bliss known as Russian River or Fat Tire will bless our state. I wouldn’t hold my breath, but I can do whatever I can to hold my river.