Phillipe & Jorge’s Cool, Cool World: Throw Away the Key!

Blameless or Shameless?

Phillipe and Jorge can barely make space for commenting on the cascading affronts to decency, honesty and intelligence offered up by our conman/cheat/racist president and his toadies. And the level of outright corruption in Washington, DC, must make disgraced authoritarians like Venezuela’s President Maduro whinny in delight that our own presidency is as despicable as his own.

Nowhere is there a better example of kissing dictators’ asses for money than Paul “Burning Tire” Manafort. Known as “the torturer’s lobbyist,” he is a perfect accomplice for President Lying Crybaby, given the latter’s disposition to put his lips to the derrieres of such wonderful folks as North Korea’s fat frog Kim Jong-un, Muhammad Bin Salman of the terrorist training ground and money supplier to the 9/11 murderers from Saudi Arabia, and, of course, the delightful Vladimir Putin, who would slit your throat without batting an eye. Just don’t get any blood on that Armani suit. Although, it would be another opportunity to pose shirtless, eh?

In giving Manafort a slap on the wrist for his treasonous activities in cahoots with The Big Cheeto, Virginia District Court Judge TS Ellis III said in explanation of his leniency, “He’s lived an otherwise blameless life.” (Note: Keep a running eye on Ellis’ bank account, investments and future employers. As Robert DeNiro’s character said when he went ballistic after the JFK heist in Goodfellas, “You don’t buy your wife a fucking mink coat” two weeks after divvying up the cash.)

Blameless? Excuse me? Manafort represented some of the vilest international political leaders ever, who looted their country’s treasuries to the tune of millions of dollars while keeping a foot perched on the throats of the nation’s poorest. At the top of the batting order were President Suharto of Indonesia, Ferdie Marcos of the Philippines, Mobutu Sese Seko of Zaire (now Congo) and Sani Abacha of Nigeria. Burning Tire working for these Goon Squad idols would be like being employed by Benito Mussolini and saying, “Boy, those trains sure run on time,” as every cent at the turnstiles went into his pocket.

P&J have seen this firsthand in Indonesia. Once Suharto was disposed for flagrant thievery and being a bully boy, folks there would still only speak about him in very hushed tones. Life’s cheap in those places, so even disposed ghosts can haunt you. And if you think our voting system is a train wreck, how about casting a vote in an already rigged election with a soldier armed with a AK-47 looking over your shoulder?

Manafort should be imprisoned for the rest of his life for those assaults on humanity, nevermind his wet work for Donald Trump. Blameless, indeed. And shameless?

Take a bow, Judge Ellis.

Socialist Lubrication

That shower of assholes we know as the Republican party thinks they have latched on to a great negative buzzword for their Democratic opponents: socialist. These lying, delusional, supposedly keen GOP political strategists think that as long as they can grab the phrase “Democratic socialists” that Bernie Sanders made popular in 2016, they can convince everyone that “socialism” means societally tainting white folks with forced interaction with the great unwashed, blacks/Latinos/WOGs of all sorts, and eventually will lead to Josef Stalin’s picture adorning a wall in the Oval Office.

Thus, Phillipe and Jorge have an offer to make to these reactionary chowderheads. If you or any of your relatives (like elderly Mom and Dad) are currently availing themselves of Social Security, Medicare or Medicaid, tell the government to stop subsidizing them with these kinds of socialist programs. Take away that monthly SS check and their oxygen tanks, hit them up for $40 per prescription and when they run out of money, well, you may as well shove them off a cliff. Oh, we almost forgot. Start paying for Sissy and Junior’s K-12 education straight out of pocket with no federal help. That, ladies and gentlemen, in a basic sense, is socialism, but the GOP idiots don’t even know it. (Cue Springsteens’s “Born in the USA” and the Village People’s “YMCA,” which the Republicans embarrassingly dance − badly − to every time they get together without a clue as to what the lyrics mean.) So if you are taking advantage of any of these life-saving programs while calling Bernie Sanders a commie, get stuffed. And put dear old Mom and Dad out on the curb with this week’s trash barrels.

And if you are a crotchety old man or woman, let’s talk about another dastardly socialist scheme: the GI Bill. One of America’s greatest post-war moves was the GI Bill that was socialistic and a key to building a large middle class. (P&J’s fathers both fought in the war, and were able to avail themselves, to one degree or another, of this grand, and uncontested, entitlement.) This equity and job opportunity builder was a lifesaver for many courageous young men and women who served their country. And, as the GOP suggests, if you say “socialism” means communism and dictatorship, you are about as dumb as P&J have already bet you are.

Honestly, as our mothers would say.

Another Tale of Local Greed