Phillipe & Jorge’s Cool, Cool World: Trouble in DC, Sartorial Commands and All Mobbed Up

Lowering the Bar

Phillipe and Jorge were delighted to have some chinwag with our old friends US Senators Jack Reed and Sheldon Whitehouse at the Wild and Scenic Rivers media event last week. Both looked mahvelous, but that’s where the good news ends.

Jack and Sheldon gave virtually the same sense of despondency over what is happening in Washington under President Pussy Grabber’s reign, which is that the bar of civil discourse has been lowered so much that an ant with broken legs could jump over it. It is one thing to realize it from afar, but these two gents have front row seats for the disaster that DC has become, and while they are usually almost impossibly optimistic, one could tell that the poison being spread by the Orange Orangutan is having an affect not just here in America, but worldwide.

But P&J did get a chuckle when we suggested that Sen. Reed run for president himself, to which he immediately replied, “I can’t. I’m too short.” Which brought back memories of the documentary on the legendary Rocky Point roller coaster, the sign for which read, “You must be this tall.” Hey, go for it anyway, Little Big Man.


How Low Can You Go?

Speaking of lowering the bar in DC, President Pussy Grabber’s press aide Kelly Sadler won the limbo competition when speaking about Sen. John McCain.

P&J have been no great fans of McCain, especially since his mindless acceptance of Sarah Palin as his running mate in 2008, not only because of his lack of due diligence, but because of the sheer insanity involved in giving this runaway train national exposure. If there is anyone stupider in politics, please let us know, since “Barracuda” Palin and her dysfunctional family — and boy, do we love her daughter Bristol’s sexual “abstinence” campaign — have become a joke not worth laughing at.

Sadler said about McCain’s criticism of her fearful leader and CIA chief nominee Gina Haspel, the former who dodged the draft during the Vietnam War due to “bone spurs” in his feet (verified when a doctor asked him to open his mouth to examine said feet), “It doesn’t matter, he’s dying anyway.”

Wow, another class act from the West Wing. Is there any shame left?

Or may we put it another polite way: Fuck you, Ms. Sadler, you brainless asshole. McCain endured indescribable torture as a prisoner in Vietnam, and actually refused to be released in exchange for saying he was a US puppet, while he and other US prisoners were in captivity.

P&J also take umbrage with the whole idea of “dying anyway.” In the past few years, P&J have both been knocking on heaven’s door due to health problems and have been nearer our God to thee, and we don’t want some overpaid and undereducated woman who The Donald is courting to ridicule people of great stature, because it ain’t fun. Trust us on that front.

If Ms. Sadler is not fired by the time this item hits print, you know just where the current administration sits — a chickenshit president surrounded by idiots, whose main jobs are to kiss his ass. Harsh? You bet. But don’t run down people of true moral strength like McCain, whether you like his politics or not. Respect doesn’t acknowledge party lines.


How to Dress, Part 1

Okay, it’s the pettiness and easily irritated corner here.

While local news on TV has become a running joke — sure don’t want to miss those incisive looks at bus crashes in Utah or Poland when there is a story that might affect you directly that requires some actual journalistic reporting — the weather reports have become so absurdly pedantic it makes your skin crawl.

P&J refer to the current trend of having posturing weather people tell you, “You’ll need your sunglasses on today,” or even, “Time to wear a jacket (or t-shirt or sweatshirt).”

Now for starters, all you have to do to judge the weather is look out your window. So we don’t need some failed Sears catalog model with a community college degree in “Is it raining or is someone pissing on my boots?” to tell you it’s cloudy and wet outside and it might be a good idea to put on a slicker. But the insistence on dictating your dress and accessories has become so obnoxious that the next step likely will be to inform you that it would be a good idea to inhale and exhale in order to preserve your life by breathing on a regular basis.

All Mobbed Up

When there isn’t enough current news to fill the rapidly waning pages of the daily BlowJo, there’s always room to look back on the “Crimetown” heyday of La Cosa Nostra in La Prov. Hence, the stories on the trial of “Cadillac Frank” Salemme. While the now 84-year-old “Frankie Boy” was actually from the Boston area, much of the tale of the murder of Steven DiSarro (whose killing Salemme is being prosecuted for ordering), much of action takes place in Vo Dilun.

For those who go for true crime journalism, there have been such gems as this quote from prosecution witness Thomas Hillary (not to be confused with a recent presidential candidate): “Frankie goes crazy, grabs me by the throat, bada bing, bada boom. Get out of this town.”

Your superior correspondents are reminded of our dear, deceased friend, the great drummer Tom DeQuattro,who was fond of warbling, “My friends say I’m acting wild as a bug/I’m on drugs and I’m all mobbed up,” to the tune of “All Shook Up.”
And, just to add to the bizarre quality of the trial, Cadillac Frank is being represented by a lawyer with the unlikely name of Boozang. Obviously, none of this is “fake news” as no one (including scriptwriters for “The Sopranos”) could come up with anything this amazing. P&J will continue to follow Brian Amaral’s excellent coverage of this trial in the BlowJo.


As you are undoubtedly aware, Providence’s much-loved Cable Car Cinema will be closing this month. One of the Biggest Little’s few movie houses to regularly screen documentaries, foreign films and hard-to-find indie flicks, the Cable Car will be greatly missed. We encourage all of you to make at least one last trip to the little theater on South Main Street.

We intend to attend at least one showing of the documentary film RBGa profile of a true American hero, the great Supreme Court Justice, 85-year-old, Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Although we have to say goodbye to the theater, P&J continue to cheer on Justice Ginsburg and wish her excellent health.