Phillipe & Jorge’s Cool, Cool World:

Thanks for Everything

Yes, one of P&J’s favorite holidays, Thanksgiving, is nearly upon us. We at Casa Diablo are very grateful for the abundance of topics available to dubious columnists such as ourselves here in the Biggest Little.

The General Assembly is, of course, a treasure trove of material that we are thankful for, kind of like the “scratch and dent” outlet of state governance, with the oiliest sales reps outside of a fly-by-night used car dealership.

With a presidential election coming up next year, P&J are thankful for and indebted to all the amazing Republican candidates who have tossed their hats, diapers and comb-overs into the ring. Donald Trump alone is like a gift from above, with the delusional Bobbsey Twins of Ben Carson and Carly Fiorina providing their own jaw-dropping antics.

We are very thankful that we are not “dead broke” like Hillary Clinton (we are sending her out-at-the-elbows family a Thanksgiving turkey to help them to get through the holidays), and that we have not been turned into robots like the Democratic presidential frontrunner, although if the Democratic National Committee could find a way have the Svedka vodka cyborg stand in for Hillary at her public appearances it would be a step in the right direction.

P&J are thankful that we have never been the beneficiaries of “white privilege,” as we have been informed by House Speaker Nick “Sgt. Schultz” Mattiello that the concept does not exist, much like the fairy tale “Mafia.”

We are thankful that the Raimondo administration doesn’t worry about the environment or enforcement of laws to protect our natural resources, which we realize are just pesky impediments to economic development and business growth. Holding court at Sand Hill Cove in the summer does not automatically turn Ms. Wall Street into a nature lover.

P&J are also thankful that we no longer need to worry about personal privacy, as any time we forget our computer passwords or can’t remember who we need to call back or forget where we like to shop or what kind of music we enjoy, a simple call to the NSA, FBI or CIA can provide that information in a black ops minute.

On a more serious note, thank you to all the artists in our state, for making our part of the world a better place and giving us something upbeat to write about … for a welcome change.

Journalism 101

With attacks on the “liberal media” now being in fashion among the GOP candidates for president because journalists dare point out that certain candidates’ resumes are full of more lies than a Tinder profile, there are some aspects of the ink-stained wretches’ modus operandi that do need further examination. (But we are wholly in the majority who believe the CNBC moderator and panel of the recent GOP presidential debate should be burned at the stake, with their press passes used to stoke the fire.)

Like many other journalistic titans, Phillipe and Jorge would like to assure our discerning and beloved readers that all the information contained in this column has come either from our direct knowledge of the events, or someone who “spoke on condition of anonymity because he/she was not authorized to talk to the media.” Can’t be much more ironclad truth than the latter, right, boys and girls?

Now some of you may ponder the question that if the person who is not authorized by his bosses to speak to the media, why is he doing so, and does he really know what he’s talking about? Say, for instance, some bloke who has just become your newest close personal friend after your fifth round of Patron and PBR boilermakers at a local bar, or perhaps a chap who works for the subject of the news investigation and is providing disinformation to reporters to serve his boss without being identified? But hey, if that kind of sourcing is good enough for the New York Times and Associated Press (which it is), it should be good enough for P&J and any other ignorant members of the public (and they are legion) who choose to believe it.

Some may say that this is lazy, sleazy and irresponsible journalism, to which P&J reply, “Hey, it’s our job to provide that, get off our turf, you Pulitzer-chasing whores.” But since now there appear to be many more sources who are not authorized to speak to the media than those who are, why not run with the insider info despite the fact you have no chance of making them responsible for backing up their input with verifiable truthiness? Hold your heads high, “mainstream media,” those are some tough ethical guidelines, used by such high-minded and squeaky-clean groups such as the Kardashians (we cry for you, Lamar) and the Hillary Clinton campaign.

At least Fox News — and the Pentagon, for that matter — just make up “facts,” nakedly lie and make no bones about it.

RIP, Glenn Kuzirian

This past week, an obituary and fond remembrance appeared in the BlowJo for Glenn Kuzirian. Glenn passed away on October 25 at age 64 and was a much loved person around the Providence area. Along with Chuck Doris, Glenn performed for 38 years as the popular nightclub band, Second Avenue. He also worked for many years at the William Hall Library in Edgewood.

For many years, he would hang out and hold court on Hope Street, near the Rue de L’Espoir on the East Side of Providence, accompanied by his beloved dog, Rhea. Glenn was intelligent, well-read, kind, funny and cantankerous — a very special person with many friends. Your superior correspondents knew him for decades and will miss him. Funeral services are private, but his many friends should know that there is to be a party to celebrate his life with the details to be posted on Facebook.

The Man with the Golden Nikon

It is rare when you see a compelling photograph in a newspaper and you know from looking at it who took the shot before you even look at the photo credit.

Such was the case with Phillipe and Jorge’s old friend Bob Thayer, The Other Paper’s ace photog who passed away unexpectedly just recently. More than once P&J’s eyes would be drawn to a shot in the paper, and know that Bob had given us a wonderful glimpse of Little Rhody at its best, which would be confirmed by the attached credit.

P&J were always happy to see Bob on duty at a press event we were involved in, knowing that he’d capture exactly the tenor of the event, as well as a visual depiction of what the key elements were. And chances are he would have a scene catch his eye, pull his car off the road on his way back to the office and find a visual slice of the Biggest Little that would pop up in print elsewhere on another day. (And if you read The Other Paper, you have doubtless seen and probably admired his skill.) Bob won national and international awards. He was as good as they come behind a camera, and will be missed professionally, and more importantly, personally.