Phillipe & Jorge’s Cool, Cool World: Electile Dysfunction: Use it or lose it … the right to vote, that is

chimp.lg2Poor Little Rich Girl

Phillipe and Jorge’s TV watching time has been significantly reduced of late, because we run screaming from the Boom Boom Room every time a political ad comes on.

Hard to believe, but Governor Gigi, Trump “Fanboy” Fung (and full credit to whomever came up with “Fanboy”), the horde of personal injury ads by ambulance chasers and recommendations as to which toilet paper you should use is all too much for our tender sensibilities.


But the revelation that Gigi has spent more than $5 million on her self-aggrandizing promotions makes it more intolerable. It also reveals that she is the queen of non-Biggest Little investors who  think she will someday be president. That’s a frightening thought. The economic investment is hideous, at best. Check out the names, and give our regards to Broadway.

No matter, Gigi will win a walkover.

And on a secondary level, there is the Sheldon Whitehouse/Bob Flanders race for the US Senate. We are unabashed supporters of Weldon Shitehouse — always have been, always will be. But P&J have no quarrel with Flanders. In fact, we admired his intelligence and balls for decisions made when he was an RI Supreme Court justice. But Flanders jumping into the fray, using in his ads some dotty elder calling Whitehouse a “doofus,” is laughably off the mark, and he demeans himself with idiotic schemes like that.

No Vote, No Money

Phillipe and Jorge have brought this issue up year after year. When people are on social welfare, be it state or federal, they should be forced to vote or the gravy train stops right there.

The US and Little Rhody already have an abysmal record for voter turnout. We’ve told this story before, but here you go again…

One of our work colleagues from Indonesia visited the US years ago, right after the people there were finally allowed to elect their officials. Ninety-seven percent went to the voting booths, despite a very real menace of government troops shooting them down. This is not a joke.

When informed by P&J that only 50% (give or take a few points) voted in that year’s presidential election in 2000, roughly likened to the Biggest Little’s turnout, he started laughing. But when he saw we were not kidding him, he began to cry. Having a say, however small, in your future matters when you have been oppressed your entire life.

So, back to the topic at hand. If anyone receives money from the state and federal government for social needs, they should be required to vote and prove it. The main argument against this idea that P&J have heard from far too many sources is that morons who know nothing will drag down democracy. Hey, we elected Donald Trump as president. How much lower can we go?

More Election Weirdness

A story on the front page of The Providence Journal on October 11 reported on a strange incident from 1975 when current independent candidate for governor in Vo Dilun, Joe Trillo, slapped (accidentally) Speaker of the House Mattiello (then a young boy) But there’s an added touch that makes the story even more bizarre. Trillo claimed in a radio interview that in another altercation, 10 years ago in the State House, former GOP Representative Larry Earnhardt gave him a two fingered eye-poke (a la Moe Howard). So now we know more about the behavior elected officials at Halitosis Hall engage in. We hope that revelations like this do not keep voters from going to the polls in November and voting for the least ridiculous candidates. For your superior correspondents, this would mean re-electing Gina.

We fully realize that this is not exactly an edifying prospect but, in this world gone haywire, we have to make the least insane choices. Sleep tight in the Biggest Little.

Toilet Talk

P&J don’t watch YouTube that often, but if you want a huge laugh, watch President Pussy walk across the tarmac and up the stairs to Air Force One with  toilet paper stuck to his shoe. You couldn’t make it up. Leader of the world indeed.