Newspaper Cowboy


AltFacts: Two Truths and an Uplifting Future

Now let’s play two truths and a lie: NASA has officially issued a press release denying allegations that it has been abducting children and using them to populate experimental work colonies on Mars. Bill Cosby has begun teaching seminars for celebrities, supervisors and high-income individuals on how to avoid sexual harassment and assault suits. The […]

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Alternative Facts: Johnston’s Support of Trump Linked to Hair-Affinity

The only Rhode Island city that went to Trump in the last election was Johnston, an historically democratic community. Puzzled pollsters pondered this unpredicted preference, and further study has revealed that the deciding factor was that by Johnston’s standards, Trump hair is a positive accomplishment. “I just think it’s time we had someone in office […]

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Alternative Facts: Talking to Trump

Fox Television has significantly raised the rates to advertise on programs that President Trump has acknowledged watching. This might be because the audience is expected to grow, picking up viewers who want to see what their head of state is viewing. But we suspect it’s also because advertisers now see an opportunity to reach and […]

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