Bi squared. That’s me, with bipolar and a proud bisexual. It’s taken me a while to coin this term, from a terrified 20 year old coming out to her family, afraid of their reactions and acceptance. I’ve grown to a 26 year old trying to make sense of myself and my place in this rapidly changing world. It’s certainly a lot different than when I came out to my family in 2020.
I am still slowly learning who I am. I am not straight… but I am also not gay. I am my own ray of rainbow colors with a flag of purple, pink and blue that I now have a proud display of in my room. I also have a smaller rainbow flag that I stole from my dormitory on Pride day. (shh) and *another* smaller bi Pride flag right next to it on my bookshelf.
This would *never* have happened four years ago when I was afraid to come out not only to my parents, but also my friends. I feel like bi people are often misunderstood, as when a woman dates a man, she’s seen as straight. When she dates someone of the same gender, she’s seen as lesbian.
I was very confused when I was a new small bi. I had a crush on David Tennant (doesn’t everyone?) *and* Jodie Whittaker (again, see previous.) Surely that couldn’t be right. I couldn’t be attracted to a man *and* a woman at the same time, or say that a man was beautiful but this woman also was, without seeming like some sort of outlier.
After careful reflection and research, as well as talking to friends, I discovered bisexuality. Where one could be free to love women as well as men, I found my people. I even met my first girlfriend, who was just like me. Also bi, with the same struggles. It didn’t end up working in the end, but I did find someone else, another girlfriend and close to a wife, who eventually became family. I couldn’t have asked for more. Even with four different proposals, the hand-crafted daisy ring was my favorite. Come on middle school boyfriend, (first kiss, which made things even *more* confusing) rise up. Kidding, of course.
That’s my story – well, part of it. The next bit is me coming out to my friends and family. I came out to my mom first. She took it surprisingly well, after all, I talked about Jodie Whittaker on a regular basis; my crushes on “Doctor Who” and “Once Upon a Time” (Yes, I am that old) actors and actresses were of equal importance in my life.
My father took the news just as well as my mother, which I was surprised about. But then, maybe I didn’t need to be surprised about either – both would love me no matter the circumstances – and I realize that I’m incredibly lucky to have that experience. Some young people don’t: ome of them close friends, whom my close relatives consider part of our family.
Coming out is one of the scariest things a person can do. There are still some countries and states that only recently accepted gay marriage, or don’t accept it at all. Sometimes, it’s safer not to say anything. I can only hope that this world changes for the better, and fight for LGBTQ+/Queer rights alongside my friends and allies, while still discovering more about my identity and who I am.
That’s all a person can really do at the end of the day, no matter what they identify as, and know
that they are deserving of acceptance and love.
