Halloween is the time of year when it’s fun to be scared. On this year’s quest for all things terrifying, I stumbled across The Halloween Safety Guide. I don’t live in a town tormented by Michael Meyers so I never felt that Halloween was so dangerous it needed its own safety guide. Was I missing something? […]
Sasquatch. Bigfoot. These are the names given to a large ape-like creature that some people believe inhabits forests, mostly in the Pacific Northwest region of the United States. Admittedly, I am skeptical. A lack of physical evidence gives me pause. After all, if there’s a large hairy man running around in the forests, wouldn’t someone […]
Dear Nick, Imagine this: a pudgy, tiny, toupee-sporting man hatches a cocaine- and alcohol-fueled plot to recover his divorce settlement money (as much as $500,000) by kidnapping his ex-wife’s friend and extorting the money from him. If the man refuses to comply, the tiny, pudgy, toupee-sporting man will threaten him, then hit him and then […]
The Phoenix Media/Communications Group (PMCG) announced today that, after 36 years, it will stop publishing the venerated alt-weekly The Providence Phoenix. This news comes a little over a year after publisher Stephen Mindich and COO Everett Finkelstein announced the closing of the sister publication The Boston Phoenix. The Portland Phoenix, in Maine, remains in operation. […]
Winter is coming. It is inevitable. The days are getting shorter, the air is getting colder, and Rhode Islanders are beginning to grumble about moving to a warmer climate. Last winter was relentless, and there are rumors of an even harder one on its way. Some of us whine about shoveling and driving conditions, while […]
Dear Dr. Brilliant Cliché, How can one measure the looseness or tightness of their vagina?? I have a fear that I am loose. How can I get it tighter without surgery? Miss Fit Dear Fit, As a therapist I always have to ask what provokes a question. If you have been told you are “too […]
My house was built in 1940 and has had virtually no renovations done to it. It was a “handyman special” when I acquired it. I wasn’t a handyman at that time, but I figured like many of my friends I’d grow up to be one. Apparently I figured wrong. I started with the closet in […]
There are many realities no one mentions to parents before they have kids: sleepless nights last well past the newborn phase; the words “carefree” and “relaxing” drop from your vocabulary, and, upon birth, your sex life suffers an instantaneous demise. There’s one truth, however, that’s been the most shocking of all: SUMMER IS HELL!!! I […]
Dear Nick: Driving on the short but uniquely Rhode Islandish stretch of I95 that serves as a spine for the state, I saw a guy transporting a long metal ladder. There’s nothing unusual about that, until I reveal that he was driving an old Ford Escort and the ladder was balanced on and sticking out […]
My favorite time of year is approaching. The dog days of summer are coming to an end, and the first hints of autumn are creeping in. The weather calls for a t-shirt in the day, and a sweatshirt at night. The shorts go into the drawer, and the jeans come out. This is the time […]