Clown Car The shower of assholes that President Pussy-Grabber has brought into the White House is frightening and disturbing. It makes 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue a place where you would go if you wanted to take your skin for a crawl. But for columnists everywhere, it is a godsend, as the clown car rolls through the […]
If, like the AltFacts team, you’ve been thinking the current national administration resembles Lord of the Flies, nature may agree. If you missed that William Golding novel in high school, it’s about an island where pre-adolescents have been left to fend for themselves. They start out resourceful, but quickly disintegrate into pig-worship and all sorts of […]
Big Dick(head) Contest Phillipe and Jorge always enjoy seeing to what degree the General Assembly is going to disgrace itself before they adjourn, which always precedes July 4 because everyone at Halitosis Hall has family vacation plans that cannot be intruded upon by such trivialities as properly serving the Great Unwashed who elected them. This year […]
Alt facts would like to celebrate the new protest zone by encouraging a protest-zone protest in which protesters will circle the protest zone. It’s not like there’s anything more important going on. For those who didn’t notice, the summer meeting of state governors (the National Governors Association) took place in Rhode Island this year – governors […]
With a multitude of popular tourist destinations, New England has been a vacation hot spot for over a century. From Cape Cod and the islands in Massachusetts to Acadia National Park in Maine, New England offers a variety of coastal attractions, amusement parks, museums, historic cities, music festivals and more to keep a tourism industry […]
The other night I went to the U2 concert for the Joshua Tree tour. I have always been a casual fan, but two years ago my best friend introduced me to the Innocence Experience tour, and I was hooked. I talked about going to this concert months leading up to it; even my students knew […]
Dear Nick, Happy 4th of July! The intersection of everything going on in Washington, DC, and the celebration of our declaration of independence from tyranny got me to thinking. We are knee deep in strange times. Our president is a tiny-handed man who is clearly more comfortable mocking daytime television hosts through social media than […]
Now let’s play two truths and a lie: NASA has officially issued a press release denying allegations that it has been abducting children and using them to populate experimental work colonies on Mars. Bill Cosby has begun teaching seminars for celebrities, supervisors and high-income individuals on how to avoid sexual harassment and assault suits. The […]
Rant-some Notes Phillipe and Jorge are furious about President Pussy’s recent Twitter outburst against MSNBC’s Mika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough, calling the former, essentially, a stupid, lunatic, facially altered twat, and the latter a psychopath. What has us seeing red is that we haven’t been the target of one of the Orange Orangutan’s immature attacks, […]
When a nuclear bomb explodes, the damage it inflicts does not occur solely at the point of impact. Even more insidious are the shock waves and emanating fallout, which seep, cancer-like, into the surrounding soil and air, gradually poisoning and eroding the earth and sky for miles past the smoking crater. In Washington, DC, we […]