Rhode Island: Beachier and Pavementier

rhode_island_beachier_logoAfter several days of controversy, Rhode Island Governor Gina “Flip Flops for Summer” Raimondo announced that the entire Rhode Island Tourism Campaign was actually an elaborate April Fool’s joke.

“The media is saturated with nonsense,” Raimondo said in an early morning press conference. “We knew that we’d have to do something really silly just to stand out.

“That is why I’m proud to be firing the entire Tourism Board, and rolling out the real campaign that we spent just under 38 Studios, I mean $38 million to prepare.

“Rhode Island: Beachier and Pavementier describes our state perfectly. We have lots of beach. And we have lots of pavement. Just check out all the bonds we issue for roads and bridges!

“We want people to visit our beaches, but to do that, they’ll have to drive over our pavement! It’s perfect.”

When asked for a comment, former Providence Mayor Vincent A. Cianci rolled in his grave, knowing very well that he died too early to add his two cents.